


The Hunter's Moon

by Jacrispea



Series: Jake x Hannah [1]
Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Brainwashing, Captivity, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kidnapping, Mutual Pining, Project at Eden's Gate, Sexual Tension, Trials
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-01-15 02:57:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 25,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21246344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacrispea/pseuds/Jacrispea
Summary: Jacob saw something in her from the very beginning - a defiance and an unending strength that mirrored his own. Maybe that was why he let her escape time after time, even helping in the process. Or why he found himself waiting for her voice to reach out to him over the radio. Maybe that was why he ignored Joseph's orders and met with her on dark nights, hidden between the mountains.He wasn't sure, but he knew it was wrong. And so did she.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to DarkPhoenix24 & fluttyseed for your input and open ear, as I ranted about just how hard this story was for me to imagine. Love you girls! ♥️

Jacob had never seen the likes of her before - strong, resilient, stubborn. She should be broken by now - beaten down by starvation and thirst. The sleepless nights. The isolation and captivity. 

_The trials._

But, no. She was still standing tall, even though Jacob knew it was taking all her strength to do so. She refused to let him see her weakness and that was something that he could understand all too well. He understood all of her; though they spoke but a few words. He recognized a broken soul when he saw one. Maybe that was why he had chosen to let her go - he wasn't sure. But here he was, placing her unconscious body in the fields outside the reach of St. Francis and his Chosen.  
  
The first time she escaped his grasp, it was with the help of her friend. Deputy Pratt was weak and becoming more acquiescent as the days tumbled forth but he had shown a moment of defiance when he helped her escape. Jacob was almost proud of him, but was still forced to teach his lesson to the boy for his stubbornness. 

This time - the second time - he had no one to blame but himself.  
  
He straightened his posture, leaving her at his feet, before he rested the canteen and pistol at her side. Joseph had given him directions to ensure she lived - this was the best he could do for her now. She would survive and come back stronger, he was sure of it. She had to. She was so similar to him in that regard. She wouldn't quit. 

Jacob smiled slightly, looking forward to seeing how she would retaliate.

___

The forest was dark when Hannah woke. She blinked, glancing around; sure she was still under his control. When the ground remained still and her thoughts became her own, she knew it was real; though she didn't remember Staci helping her escape. Or even how she got out of that retched place. 

Hannah rolled to her back, letting her fingers till the ground - pulling the grass from the root and letting it float with the breeze that had encircled her. The feeling of freedom was transcendent. 

Her fingers reached and reached as she lay out, and finally brushed the cool steel of the canteen Jacob had left. She froze and glanced over to the object in her hand. The beads of condensation ran over her fingernails, reminding her of the water she had been deprived of. It could be tainted, she knew that, but she didn't care. Bliss or not, she unscrewed the cap and swallowed the liquid swiftly; not giving a second thought until she came to the bottom. She waited.

Nothing. 

Hannah had to admit, she was surprised at the contents. She stood shakily, forcing her legs to move beneath her. The water helped slightly with the tight muscle knots in her calves but she was in desperate need of food. As much as she hated to admit it, she needed to get moving and figure out where she was. As she shuffled across the grass, her toe caught something tucked among it and collapsed to the ground. 

"Fuck," she cursed hoarsely. 

She curled up to assess the ground behind her and finally saw it - an M9 with a worn down grip. She grabbed it quickly, glancing around again but seeing no one. Holding it to her eye line in the moonlight, she opened the chamber to see it fully loaded. Whoever had left it for her, had intended for her to have some form of protection while she was on her own. She ran her thumb over the grip panel - over the nicks and scratches. When she turned it over, she spotted a set of jagged lines in one corner of the panel. Hannah squinted until she could focus on the lines she now realized were letters carved into the carbon fiber.

J.S. 


	2. Chapter 2

"He had you _again_?" Jess asked, pacing in front of Hannah as she sat on the edge of the bed. It had been weeks since she had seen her friend and Jess had started to worry. 

"Yes, but then he... let me go."

"That's so fucked. He's toying with you! Probably trying to see if that dick of his can still get hard," she huffed. "They're all the same... these Seeds. I swear they just get off on people's pain."

Hannah thought that over but as valid a point as her friend had, she didn't agree. "I don't think it's like that."

Jess stopped her relentless pacing and stood with her hands clasped in front of her. She lowered her head the slightest bit while she chewed at her lip, looking for motives to Jacob's change of heart. 

"What do we do now?" Jess asked. 

"I need to rest for a bit," Hannah told her. As much as she wanted to get back in the fight, her body had not recovered quite so quickly this time. She was still exhausted.

"Mm," Jess agreed. "Dutch gave word that Adelaide is looking for some help on her end. I think I may head that way but if you need anything.."

"I'm fine, thanks," Hannah said. "Listen... don't tell the others about this, okay? I just need to make sense of everything before I let them know."

Jess gave her a questioning look but nodded and made her way outside. When she headed out the door, Hannah peeked out the window to make sure she was gone and locked the door before grabbing her radio and calling out to Jacob again. She would never admit it to Jess but she had tried several times since she got home a few days ago. 

She knew it was a bad idea. Just, a terrible one really - but, she needed answers. 

"Jacob, I need to talk. I know you've got ears all over these mountains. Stop avoiding me."

Jacob stood on the third story balcony of St. Francis; radio in hand. He had heard her voice over the past few days but had chosen to ignore it, still too confused and angry at himself for his weakness. He fully intended to push her out of his mind before he did something equally impulsively. 

"Oh c'mon, Jakey. Where the hell are you?" she huffed. 

He rolled his eyes at the nickname and brought the radio to his lips, unable to listen to her any longer. "Deputy."

His voice rasped into the radio almost seductively, in the same way he had praised her during her trials. She wondered if it was intentional or if he always spoke so enticingly. 

"I need answers. I know you won't want to speak openly over a public radio frequency, but you know where I am when you're ready," she offered. Without a doubt in her mind, she knew he would know the location of the run down cabin she had claimed as her own. 

He mulled that over. "And if I don't want to?"

"I know you do," she said. "I'll see you soon."

Jacob's lips curled into a quick smile as he gazed out into the yard. His eyes darted to the cage she had called her home while in his care. No one had been in it since she had left. He was saving it for her, just in case he had to bring her home again. 

\---

The next week and a half, Hannah stayed quiet; resting and eating everything in sight to gain back the weight she had lost. Not that she was skinny by any means but she missed the soft curves she once had. 

Her friends checked in one by one, either by radio or in person. Sharky of course had out stayed his visit on more than one occassion, even sleeping on the couch here and there. But she was ready to help out again. Every face that visited her was one of worry but also of fatigue and lost hope. The Resistance were losing ground and they needed their leader back. 

"Where should we go, boy?" she asked Boomer as they laid curled up in bed for yet another cloudy afternoon. 

She mulled that over - she could scout herself and see what she could find or she could use her friends' eyes and ears and collect the information she needed. Jess had always had a knack for staying quiet and observing. Not one for close relationships, she stuck to herself mostly and kept her ever vigilant focus on the task at hand - revenge. 

"Wanna go see Jess?" Hannah asked Boomer who sat up immediately and jumped to the floor. She laughed, knowing he was excited at the prospect. She and Jess had become close over the past few months and she suspected she was now one of Boomer's favorites. Though Jess announced early into their relationship, she wasn't a dog person, she occasionally dropped her guard and rubbed at the dog's fur when she thought no one was looking. 

\---

Jacob tapped at the map on the wall with his long fingers, studying it for clues to the whereabouts of his enemies. 

His eyes swept over the various landmarks until he spotted the small valley tucked away in the mountains, furthest from St. Francis. It was where his hunters had tracked the deputy. At first he thought she would lead them to the Militia but she ended up on her own and he wasn't sure why. Perhaps she was smart enough to know what he had planned to do. 

She was clever though, wasn't she? Strong. Beautiful. His thoughts went to her dark green eyes, always warm, no matter the conditions. Never judging or fearful like the others. 

He shook his head slightly, realizing his fingers were grazing over the spot where she lived. It wasn't the first time she had crossed his mind lately. In fact, since she disappeared, it was all he could think about.

She had been laying low lately, making things far too easy on him. It was time he lured her out of hiding, he decided.


	3. Chapter 3

"When you see her, don't shoot unless it's with bliss, understand?" Jacob asked over his shoulder as he slashed the front tire of the prisoner's van he had driven off the shoulder of the road. The second van parked behind it.

"She'll have friends with her," one of his Chosen pointed out. 

"Kill 'em. But keep her alive or you'll all pay for it," he growled as he straightened and nodded to the men in the front seat of the second van. 

They had been given their instructions. He had gone over them more than once, making sure he wasn't putting her in danger. If his own men died, well, then they were weak and not worthy of saving. She on the other hand - if John was correct - would need her wrath fuelled. And Jacob was curious to see exactly what that entailed. 

He told himself that again as if it were rehearsed, as he made the trek up the mountain. It was only to see if she was strong. It was only an observation. Nothing more. 

It couldn't be because he wanted to see her again. It couldn't. 

When he was at the ridge overlooking the road, he whistled loudly to his men below, letting them know to set the trap. 

"We've got a prisoner van down. Blown tire," he heard one say over the radio, before they added the location and request for help. 

\---

"Not too bright," Jess shook her head as she waved the radio to Hannah. They had been driving around, looking for supply trucks when the call came in. 

"That's not too far from here," Hannah added. "If we park on the road parallel to that, we can sneak through the trees."

"Yes, good idea," Jess agreed, turning the quad to head in that direction. Hannah held onto the back of her coat as she did. 

When they arrived to their destination, they hopped off the quad and made their way through the trees until they were close enough to see the white van, resting nose first against the trees along the side of the road. Another van was parked behind it with the passengers now circling the first van, looking it over. 

"What are they doing?" Jess whispered.

"Apparently trying to fix their van," Hannah said, rolling her eyes. "How many of them do they need?"

"Idiots," Jess scoffed. 

Hannah let her eyes linger over the scene, taking in the position of the Peggies. She had always had a strategic mind and could easily map out her moves before she took them. 

"There," Hannah decided, brushing her loose strands of hair behind her ear in its usual spot and then pointing to the two Peggies guarding the rear of the second van. She swept her eyes up and smiled until the slight dimple in her cheek appeared. "See that tree there? I'll take that one. You take another. We hit them from above."

"Good," Jess said simply and sprinted silently through the trees. Hannah watched her until she disappeared and then headed to her own location. She took the branches, one at a time, avoiding looking down. Hannah was never one for heights. 

Jacob's eyebrows raised as he watched her through his binoculars. Her friend had run down the road before she darted across the road, hidden by its blind knoll. Now, she was making her way back to the site of the prisoners. Hannah however was struggling to climb a hearty pine - bow strapped to her back. When she was nearly hidden, she wrapped her legs around the branch that supported her weight and pulled the bow out, aiming below. 

She nodded to the other side of the road and quickly, both guards at the rear of the van were dropped - one by her and the other, by her friend. Her companion waved her hand, pointing to the next target but the deputy was staring straight ahead to the bodies laying on the road. Her sight was unshakable and even through his binoculars, he could see the conflict in her eyes. 

She was a soldier; not just by law but for these people. They used her as a tool, as a means to an end - never worrying about the turmoil she may feel inside. It was familiar to him, in the most painful way. 

Jacob watched as two more targets were dropped. As they did, Hannah kept her wide eyes fixed to the man she had killed. It wasn't until the shouting started from below and his Chosen started to fan out, that she shook herself from her daze and pulled her bow string back again. This time, her arrow missed and alerted one of them. They pointed and shouted before she had a chance to bring them down. 

Hannah scurried down the tree awkwardly, toppling from one of the branches and landing hard on her knees. The wince and pain on her face caused Jacob to stand and step forward, worrying his hunters wouldn't heed his warning. If she was killed, Joseph would never forgive him. He had become obsessed with her atonement and salvation and Jacob did not want to disappoint him. 

The Chosen leapt at Hannah, rolling to the ground with her before they both struggled to stand. Her bow was knocked out of her hands as a heavy boot crushed her fingers as she reached for it. 

"Fuck," Hannah shrieked at the pain that shot through her hand. She reached down to her side and pulled out her knife, swiping it through the ankle of the man atop her. 

As he collapsed to the ground beside her, she leapt on top of him, bringing the blade over his throat. 

It was chaos from then on out - bodies laid out before her like a twisted draw bridge, leading to Jess who was now busy fighting off the last two Peggies. Her bow was also gone and unlike Hannah, she didn't carry a back up. 

The deputy stumbled over the limbs below her, hurrying to her friend. Pulling the man off of her, she plunged her hunting knife into his windpipe and twisted the handle to quicken his fate. 

"Hannah!" Jess yelled from behind her. As she whirled around, her arm jerked at the knife, trying to dislodge it. When it didn't budge, she was forced to duck and roll out of the way as the butt of a rifle came sailing towards her. 

As she darted out of the way, the Peggie lost balance and lay splayed on the ground. Quickly, she grabbed the rifle, aiming and pulled the trigger. 

Nothing. 

"Dammit," Hannah hissed, falling to her knees on top of the last of Jacob's soldiers. The rifle crushed their throat as she held it lengthwise over it, cutting off their air. Their eyes bulged as they grasped for the rifle, catching her gaze as they pleaded with her silently. 

The feeling spread through her again as she met their eyes, knowing she would be the one to snuff the life from them. It wasn't easy the first time she had killed and with each death she added to her tally, the harder she found it. Their ghosts haunted her at night through her dreams and she remembered every face so vividly it would sometimes make her physically ill. But they belonged to her now as they tangled in the web of her mind. 

Hannah closed her eyes tightly and turned her head, pressing down sharply until the gurgling had stopped and the person below her - her new burden - stopped thrashing. Still, her body would not move, even as her mind screamed for her to. She was frozen in that moment, unable to escape the guilt she felt. 

Above her, Jacob stood straight, watching her with empathy filling his chest. She had done it, even when he thought she would quit. She was a soldier afterall - following orders even when her soul prayed for mercy. She had found her strength to sacrifice a part of herself, much as he had done over and over. And now, she would be hollow. 

Just like him. 

He smiled at the irony of it. Enemies, sharing the same inner turmoil; perhaps being the only ones to understand one another.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter... The next one had to be its own. Stayed tuned for another update soon!

"It's empty," Jess announced as she opened the back doors to the van on the road. 

"Same here," Hannah called out, opening the first van up. She had hoped after all of this effort, there would be a reward. That she would be able to save some innocent people and justify somehow what she had done. 

Her eyes roamed over the floor of the van, grabbing a few boxes of ammo that were tucked away. As she pulled one up from its spot, a piece of folded paper tumbled from her fingers. Quickly, she grabbed it and shoved it in her pocket; unsure what it was but somehow knowing it was hidden for a reason. 

"Ammo," Hannah announced as she heard Jess' footsteps trot up behind her. "What a waste."

"Not a waste," Jess reminded her. "Look at all the Peggies we took out. We fucking owned that shit."

The girl didn't share the same views as Hannah and fuck, rightfully so. If she had been through the same trauma as Jess, she might feel differently too. But her emotions were her own and she dared not share them with her friends. They wouldn't understand; she knew that much. 

"We should grab what we can from these assholes and head out before their backup comes along."

Hannah nodded and closed the van doors. She sighed and nodded to herself, willing her legs to move. Now was not the time for a meltdown. 

\---

"Later!" Jess called out as she took off down the hill. She had driven Hannah home after she told her she'd need to get back for Boomer; making up the excuse that she had kept him inside by accident. 

Truthfully, she was glad to be alone again. She needed to recharge and have the time to push all of her guilt deep down in the pit of her soul. 

As she opened the door, letting Boomer free to do his business, she sat on the worn down bench on her deck and pulled out the paper she had stored away earlier. She hoped it was something that would help her and her friends gain an edge against the Project - secret information perhaps, but disappointingly opened it to see a note roughly jotted in blue ink. Her eyes swept over it once before they widened and she forced herself to read over it again. 

"You want answers. I can give them to you but you have to come alone. Tonight @ 10. Cedar Lake watch tower. J.S."

Her hand reached absently for the gun she normally wore on her hip but had forgotten to grab today. She recognized the letters scrawled at the bottom as the ones that matched the pistol's grip. 

So that was it. He had finally decided to meet her. It was a trap, no doubt, but she knew she had to take the chance. She had too many questions and on top of that, he was her only way of getting Staci back. 

She had to try.


	5. Chapter 5

The watch tower was difficult to find, tucked away in the trees and out of sight of the lake but finally she stumbled upon it and the faint light that beckoned to her through the windows. She peered up the ladder, inhaling deeply before taking each wrung slowly to the top. 

Inside, the room was cast with the flickering light of the candles that had been lit. His face was illuminated in the most brilliant way, appearing as something surreal among the shadows. 

"I wasn't sure you'd come," Jacob said flatly. 

"I wasn't sure this wouldn't be a trap," she replied, trying to keep her voice calm. 

"And yet you still came alone. Can't say I would have, had I been in your shoes."

"Yeah, well, I figure I've got nothing to lose," she explained as she neared him. He stood in the same confident pose he always had - legs spread, arms crossed, face relaxed. 

_He's dangerous_, she reminded herself. 

"I don't have time for chit chat," he reminded her. "What is it you want?"

She shifted on her feet, glancing around the room uneasily. How could he make her feel so small? "It shouldn't bother me like this but I need to know why you let me go."

"Why?" he asked, genuinely curious. He watched as she fidgeted with her sleeve. When she noticed his questioningly expression, she straightened her posture and lifted her chin, faking the confidence she lacked in his presence. Her skin was so much paler than he remembered, but perhaps it was because of the dim lighting of the room. From here, he noticed the pale freckles dotting her cheeks that he hadn't noticed before and the faint crinkle at the edge of her eyes that told the story of a happier woman than the one who stood before him now.

"Because it's very unlike you, from what I hear."

"Mm," Jacob hummed in agreement. He kept his arms crossed but took a step to the left, glancing out the window. He knew she was going to ask that but was still unsure of what to say. "Moment of weakness."

"Why?"

Jacob sighed at her persistence. "Guess I saw myself in you."

Her reaction was not one he had expected. Rather than meet his words with surprise or even disgust, she nodded slowly, chewing on her bottom lip. Jacob's breath hitched as he watched her suck it between her teeth. 

"I guess I can see the same. I'm so sick of hearing these stories painting you as the boogie man when you've only been dealt a shitty hand in life. Fuck, the worse hand. I understand your motives as much as I hate to admit it. But I hope..." she stopped and shook her shoulders slightly, loosening her posture. Her face tilted to his, taking in the sapphire of his eyes. When she realized she had his full attention, she continued, "I hope that maybe I'm right and you'll negotiate with me."

He wanted to scoff and brush her off, knowing it was the right reaction but found himself motionless instead, giving her the time to explain. 

"I want Staci back."

"Is that what all of this is about?" he asked in disbelief. Surely she was looking at the bigger picture and not just the well-being of the weakened man he had in his possession. 

"What? Of _course_ it is!"

Jacob felt a stir inside him at her reaction. Her calm exterior was cracking and it was because of a nobody. 

"He your boyfriend or something?" Jacob asked, knowing the wording wasn't right but unable to stop himself. The thought of her with _Peaches_... It just didn't seem right. 

Hannah was taken back instantly by his question. Why he would jump to that conclusion was beyond her. He was her friend - one of her best. She loved him like family and would do anything for him. 

"He's like a brother to me. Surely, you know what that feels like? How would you feel if I had John locked up, doing God knows what to him? I could have..." she stopped, voice now shaky. Her temper was starting to flare. Hannah lowered her voice, threateningly. "I could have torn him limb from limb by now. I had him in my sights when he didn't even know it. But I didn't because it's not for me to control the fate of people. Same as it's not yours. All I want is my friends back. I don't give a shit about this holy war your brother is waging. I don't care about this Resistance... The Militia... The Project. I want my family."

"He's not going anywhere," Jacob resigned. He couldn't allow it to happen, even if the boy was useless to him now. Something about her words tugged at him, knowing he would feel the same if anything were to happen to his brothers, but he couldn't jeopardize their safety by allowing the deputy his freedom. 

Hannah fought back the tears and the urge to beg him. She could have sworn she saw the slightest bit of pity on his face when she explained their relationship but she knew it was useless. 

As they looked over one another, her emotions turned to a fiery rage. She knew in that moment what had to be done. She would do whatever she had to, to protect her friends afterall. With shaky hands, she pulled out her pistol - _his_ pistol - and aimed it for his head, pressing it to his forehead. 

"I need him back. I'm offering you your life here... just let him go."

"You think I care if I die?" he spat, a sad smile pulling to the corners of his lips. "My purpose is to protect my brothers and letting Deputy Pratt go would be jeopardizing that. Kill me if you hafta, sweetheart."

She released the safety as a final warning but his attention didn't leave her face; his expression remaining stoic and calm. 

She could end it now. All of this would be over with a single bullet - a second in time. All she needed to do was pull the trigger. 

_Just pull the fucking trigger._

Her finger ran over it lightly, testing her willingness. Killing was not easy for her, regardless what John fucking Seed thought. And to kill a man who had shown her a glimpse of kindness himself, it just felt.... wrong. 

The gun fell to the floor as her hands dropped back to her sides. The failure of her actions overcame her and her body rocked with the sob that threatened to escape her. She pushed it down, not wanting him to see her weakness.

The confident woman who stood before him moments ago, was now struggling. Jacob could see that, and felt relief that she wasn't giving into the emotion he knew was threatening to bubble over. 

"Hannah," Jacob said quietly. His fingers twitched as his sides, wanting to reach for her. Had he grown so soft that the mere thought of her anger drove him to comfort her? 

She stared back, wide eyed at the sound of her name from his lips. It was foreign and unnatural in a way that left her shaken. They were too close now. 

"I will kill every last one of your so-called Chosen and every one in that God damned fortress of yours until I get him back," she threatened. 

He smirked at her words but stayed silent as she stumbled back towards the door and left him alone with his thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

Fingers gripping the handfuls of leaves on the forest floor beneath her, Hannah sank to her knees and let her body release the tears she had pent up for Jacob's sake. She wasn't even sure why it mattered to her - what he thought of her, but she refused to show him such weakness. 

Staci was gone; sifted through her fingers that she had outstretched to him. His image - bruised and bloody - replayed through her mind. It was too much. She had to find a way to help him and it was through obvious deduction that the Herald of the Whitetail Mountains was not her key she had hoped he would be. 

He had tracked her for several yards after she left the watch tower; she could sense it, but now she was alone. So utterly alone. 

And desperate. 

\---

"Get up," Jacob ordered the deputy as he entered the tiny room he had been set up in. 

Quickly, Staci leapt from the bed; unable to see Jacob in the darkness but knowing his voice all too well. He followed the shadow of the alpha into the hallway and down to Jacob's office without a single word of instruction or explanation. When they were both inside, Jacob closed the door and waved a hand to the steel chair on one side of the table laid out in the middle of the room. It had been the first time he had been allowed to sit. 

"Tell me about her," Jacob ordered as he took a seat across the table, leaning into it to give his attention to his captive. "The deputy."

"Joey? Or.. Hannah?" Staci asked, wanting to make sure he understood. 

"The second one," Jacob said, not wanting to let him hear that name from his mouth. 

Staci smiled a bit to himself at hearing her name, before he realized what he did and quickly brought his attention back to Jacob. "She's a good woman. I... I...promise I didn't let her go last time."

"Quiet, Peaches. I know. I want to know about her. How is she still able to stand after all of this?"

"I'm not sure. She's always been too nice, if that's a thing. I... I, mean, she's kind to me... to all of us. Funny too. She has the wit of..." he trailed off, worried he wasn't providing the right information. "She cares too much... Gives herself to other people and refuses to see the bad in them. I know she worries about Joey and I. That would be her motivation."

Jacob nodded slowly, taking it all in. The deputy wasn't telling him anything he didn't already suspect. "She ever kill before?"

"No. Not t-that I know of."

"Family?"

"No."

"Why?"

"They left her. When she was younger. She's been on her own since she was... Uhh.. 16."

"Married?" 

"No. She was seeing this guy when we met but he..."

"What?" Jacob asked. 

"... he was abusive."

Jacob's jaw clenched as he leaned further against the table. The deputy shifted his gaze, looking down to the table. 

"Who?"

"Sorry?" Staci asked, glancing up?

"Who is he? Name."

"I'm not sure. I think his first name was Aaron maybe. I didn't meet him."

"That's all. You can leave," Jacob told him abruptly, leaning back. 

Before he could change his mind, Staci stood to leave the room. On his way out, Jacob called out to him. "Pratt."

Staci stopped, shaken to hear Jacob use his name in any form of it. This was a first. He froze but didn't turn back to him. 

"You can go where you like from now on. The grounds, wherever. Just don't go disappearing."

Staci nodded quickly and scurried from the room, unsure where this sudden bout of generosity had come from.


	7. Chapter 7

The seasons were changing; Hannah could feel it. The air was growing cold, as evident from her breath lingering in the air before her. It was only late October, but the trees were now skeletal and she was sure the snow would be falling soon. 

Holding her arms around herself and cursing for not wearing anything more than her usual hoodie, Hannah followed Boomer through the trees. She needed to hunt and prepare for the colder winter months. Eli had warned her of the conditions they expected to face with the shortage of food, thanks to the Project. 

It had been almost a month since she had heard from any of the Seeds but they were still as present as ever. Their white trucks and vans were no longer a rare sight and no matter how many she and her friends took out, there always seemed to be one or two to replace it. Things were looking grim for the Resistance - land was being taken, people evicted from their homes and it seemed more and more people were joining the Project. The only reason she continued to fight was for her friends, though she was still unsure if they were even alive anymore. 

Up ahead, Boomer lowered on his haunches and turned to her quickly. As she approached, she caught sight of what he had found. A small buck swayed between the trees, picking at the brittle grass below. She had been hoping for a turkey but this would do nicely too. 

Her hand lowered at her side, palm facing the ground. Boomer laid still, knowing her command. They had been with each other for long enough now that they understood one another well. 

As she pulled an arrow from her back, her breath caught in her throat as the deer collapsed to the ground. It's body twitched for the few seconds it took its hunter to emerge from the trees. 

Staci. 

Hannah's body shook as she watched him kneel next to the buck and run a hand over its neck, nodding once to himself. He was unrecognizable if she were to compare him to their last encounter - clean, unblemished from bruises and with new clothes. He seemed lighter somehow and much less timid. 

Breaking into a sprint, she ran to him, not quieting her steps as she approached. He jumped up quickly at the noise; a look of surprise splashed onto his face. Before he could register her identity, she was in his arms. 

"Oh my fuck, Staci..." she wailed as she held him tightly. Her fingers dug into his back, fearing it was her mind tricking her in some terrible way. 

"Hannah? Oh God... Hannah!" Staci held her, burying his face in the soft locks of her hair. 

"Where... how did you?" she trailed off, still running her hands over his shoulders. 

"I'll explain, but..." Staci pulled back and looked around. As he did, the large frame of his hunting companion appeared behind him. Hannah froze as Jacob stepped from the trees. 

As he did, their eyes met automatically. Her stomach twisted into that same knot she had everytime she saw him, though she was unsure why. Stepping in front of Staci, she held her hands out to her sides as a means to shield him. 

"Relax Dep," Jacob smirked at her protective nature. "I ain't gonna hurt him."

"Then keep moving," she spat back. Every step he took, made her yearn for the pistol she had forgotten to take with her the last time they met. She wasn't strong enough then but she had enough motivation now. 

"It's okay," Staci said from behind her, placing his hands on her outstretched arms. "I'm okay."

She glanced back to see the shy smile spread across Staci's face. He nodded and ran his hands up her arms until she dropped them. 

"I.. I don't understand," she told him. 

"He came to his senses and joined us. Which you, if you were smart, would do yourself," Jacob said before adding, "If you weren't so damn stubborn."

She shot Jacob a look but turned her attention back to Staci, looking him over and studying his face for any sign of a lie. 

"But, you're still a prisoner," she commented. Staci shook his head. "Then why haven't you come to me? I've been doing what I could to get you out."

"Jacob told me. I know you've been fighting for me. I know you tried negotiating for my release and you'd have given your life. Which is why I couldn't come to you. I.. I didn't think you'd forgive me."

"I've killed people... for you!" she yelled, overcome with emotions. "And you've been having a god damned frat party with... with... After what he did to you? To me?"

"I didn't know you then," Jacob said behind her. 

Hannah whipped around and stormed over to him, inches from his torso, pushing up on her tip toes. She said quietly, "You don't know me now."

"Maybe if you hadn't disappeared on me that night, we might have been buddies," he smirked. 

"Oh fuck you!" Hannah hissed. 

She stood motionless for a moment, trying to decide what to do. She had so many questions for Staci but she refused to ask them with Jacob here. And the anger she felt for them both was high jacking her composure. 

"Hannah, I'm s-sorry," Staci said softly as he reached for her again. 

"You're my family..."

"I know. That's why I was worried."

"I need to speak to you but alone," she announced, turning to Jacob. "I'm sure you can show him where I live?"

Jacob nodded, arms now crossed over his broad chest. She smiled weakly, knowing her suspicions were right; he had always known where she was. 

Without another word or second glance to her friend, Hannah made her way home. She had felt like her whole world had been turned over in a matter of minutes and desperately craved the comfort of her bed.


	8. Chapter 8

"Why? I just don't get it," Hannah said again as she leaned across the counter to hand Staci a cup of coffee. He had come the next day to see her; this time alone.

"I don't know. Just one day he came in and told me I could roam the grounds if I wanted. Then things got better everyday. I help him around the Vet Center still but it's different. He's respectful."

"When did that happen?"

"I'm not sure of the timing but he told me a few days after you had met with him and asked for my release."

"He told you?" Hannah asked in disbelief. 

"Yeah. Unlike the station where we're never in the know, he actually tells me everything. Well, mostly."

Hannah sat on the stool next to him, rocking slightly because of its uneven legs. She took a long sip of her coffee and turned back to Staci. "What else did he say about that night?"

"That you told him I was like a brother to you," he said with a smile. 

Hannah sighed, thinking back on that night. "I tried to kill him."

Staci's eyebrows raised, obviously not aware of that fact. 

"I couldn't. I've killed so many people now Stace, but I couldn't kill him. What the hell is wrong with me?"

"He can't seem to bring himself to kill you either though," he pointed out.

"Fuck," she whispered. 

She and Staci sat in silence for several minutes, listening to Boomer snore in the corner of the room. Their coffees were both finished by the time she worked up the courage to ask him, "Why did you join?"

"It's easier," he told her. "For everyone. If it keeps the peace... only death will come if we fight them, Hannah. We need to leave them be."

"Staci..."

"No," he said, raising his hand. "If you kept coming for me, you'd wind up dead. This is the only way I can protect you now."

Hannah pushed off of her stool and into Staci's arms, holding him tightly to her. She rested her chin on his shoulder, recognizing his scent. He was almost back to normal, she thought. Almost.

His appearance was improved and if you hadn't seen him for months, you'd swear nothing had happened to him. But she could tell by the way his fingers fidgeted with anything he touched or the way he raked them through his hair, that he was still damaged. The loud and joyous man she had known before had been diminished to a yes-man, but he was slowly recovering. 

"If he hurts you... if he forces anything..."

"He hasn't."

"You need to come to me. We'll run.. I know a place we can hide out. He doesn't know where it is. I promise. Eli..."

"Hannah, it's okay," he said again. "I don't have it in me to fight anymore."

She pulled out of his arms to look into his eyes. They were sad but now somehow recognizable again. 

"Okay," she agreed, forcing a weak smile to her face to match his own. 

\---

"Deputy?" Jacob's soothing voice hummed out over her radio. 

"I'll keep this short and sweet. I don't know what changed but... thank you."

Jacob rested back on the tiny mattress in the corner of his office. He had been trying again to get to sleep when her voice rang out over his frequency. 

"I'm not heartless," he said simply. 

"I know," she agreed. She had lost sight of the empathy she once had for him - blinded by her anger - but it had returned slightly after her visit earlier with her friend. 

He sat silently, waiting for her to return to him but the radio remained quiet. He relaxed his wrist, letting it slide to the bed next to him, furrowing his brow as he mulled over whether to pick it up again. Sighing, he brought it back to his lips. 

"You want answers," he said, already knowing the answer.

"Yes."

"Same place in an hour."

She released the talk button on her radio and set it down on the counter, questioning why she was meeting him yet again.


	9. Chapter 9

Hannah held her breath as she stared up at the watch tower. This was a bad idea. She knew that, but she still found herself wanting to understand the Herald's motives. She needed to know Staci would be safe, even if it appeared that way on the surface. 

When she got to the top of the ladder, Jacob was already inside, glancing out the opposite window. He turned before she spoke, aware she was close. His eyes roamed over her once and settled on her face. 

"Does something about this feel wrong to you?" she asked awkwardly. 

"Everything," he agreed. "But here we are."

"Here we are," she said. She tried to think of how to start the conversation and of all the questions she had but his eyes were drawing her in again. Everytime she saw them - bright and blue, even when circled in shadows - a feeling washed over her. One she couldn't explain. 

"I'm not going to kill him," Jacob said finally, unsure of why Hannah wasn't speaking. He knew she would want reassurance for her friend's life though. 

"Why? What changed?" 

"He commited himself to Joseph and he was saved. Can't really do anything about it, now can I?"

"He did it to protect me..." she trailed off. 

"Course he did. I respect him for it too. Makes you think that maybe someone else should just stop fighting, hmm?"

"Please," Hannah scoffed before she could hide her disgust. When an amused smirk tipped the corner of his lips, she corrected herself. "I can't until I have Joey. And seems to me, your brother isn't as cooperative as you."

"Never heard that description before," he chuckled. He looked over the top of her head at the wall behind her, thinking. "Would you stop fighting for her release?"

"Yes, of course. I'd do anything for her." 

"No more fighting us. And you'd leave my damn property alone."

"Where's the fun in that?" she smirked but when her smile was met with a serious stare, she nodded in agreement to his terms. 

"Your buddies will abandon you."

"Yes, I know. Look... I know we're not at the point where I should be so candid with you but I understand Joseph's motives, and yours. I _get_ it. I've just never agreed with the methods. But if I have to leave the Resistance to protect my friends, then so be it. But she can never be harmed... not by any of the followers and especially not by John."

"I'll see what I can do."

Hannah's shoulders relaxed as if a weight were lifted from them. To have both of her best friends freed would be the victory she had prayed for all these months. 

"The Marshal..."

"... dead." Jacob informed her. She hadn't known. When he had tracked her across the county, she had only been to the Henbane for a brief time before crossing over into his mountains. Of course she wouldn't be aware. 

"Oh," Hannah whispered, lowering her head. She hadn't known him well but it still hit a nerve to know he had died and she did nothing to stop it. She was so determined to free Staci and Joey first that she had ignored the Henbane. The fact that the bliss had taken her so easily while she was there hadn't helped either. "Okay, well... let me know what your brother says."

She headed out without waiting for him to reply. Jacob watched as she took off across the field below the tower. He didn't realize he was moving until he was close behind her, at the top of the hill. When he approached, she stopped and turned to him with a questioning glance.

The full moon, hanging close to the hill in which they stood, illuminated her face beautifully; touching at the fullness of her cheeks and the curve of her lips. The way she looked at him... Jacob had never experienced it before. It was as if she were peering into his very soul, but with acceptance. 

"What is it?" she asked, watching the obvious internal conflict wash over his face. He stood so close to her that she could _feel_ his energy. She tilted her face up to his, watching him as he did the same. Something in her stomach stirred again - twisting uncomfortably. She swallowed as her heart raced at the sight of him. 

He had filled her thoughts lately. She thought of the slight smile he gave into every so often and the confident stance he used. But more than that, it was his voice. She had pushed everything out of her mind about her trials except for his voice. And his praise. At night, she would let it replay in her mind until she would fall asleep. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said softly. 

He shifted slightly on his feet, inching towards her. They were close enough now for her to smell the pine on his clothes. 

Hannah's expression softened. Never did she expect to see this softer side of the soldier. Up until now, it had only surfaced for momentary glimpses, but she had known it was there all along. As much as her empathy could be a weakness, she knew it was warranted for him. He deserved understanding, if for nothing else than for everything he had given up of himself for his family. 

_ The struggle he must feel, always fighting with himself,_ she thought. 

"That was the past," she assured him. She lowered her head, contemplating if she should say it. Deciding she had nothing to lose, she looked back to him. "You're not what I expected, Jacob Seed."

"Is that a good thing?" 

She nodded, with a quick smile. Jacob felt his pulse quicken. She was so close now. The pull he had felt earlier - the same one he fought so hard against - had returned. 

"You've been a surprise yourself," he added with a slight drawl slipping through. 

"Well good," Hannah said quickly, pulling herself from the trance she had been sucked into. "We'll talk soon. Radio works better than bliss bullets, k Red?"

He rolled his eyes as she grinned and jogged through the trees, back to her cabin. He was one step closer to giving Joseph what he wanted and surprisingly it wasn't through conditioning or torture, as his brother would be so keen to use. 

Yes. He felt better about this. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't ashamed at his actions.


	10. Chapter 10

Two days passed without another word from Jacob or Staci. She was growing antsy and contemplated calling to them but chose to stew over it silently in her cabin instead. 

She and Boomer had just sat down for breakfast - he with his left overs from last night's dinner and she with her extra strong coffee and toast - when a knock came at the door. 

Boomer shot up from his spot next to her and darted to the door, smelling it and baring his teeth. Hannah grabbed the knife she had removed from her boot the night before and glanced out the window to see the back of his usual military jacket. 

Letting out the breath she had been holding, she lowered her knife to the counter and shushed Boomer who was still on high alert. 

"S'alright boy," Jacob said calmly when she opened the door. He held a palm out to the dog, letting him sniff his hand. Boomer growled again but Hannah rested her hand on his head, letting him know it was okay. He glanced between them but finally decided he was okay to sit and guard her from where he was. 

"He's protective," Jacob observed. 

"He is," she agreed. "We don't get many people stopping by anymore."

"Hmm," Jacob hummed, glancing over her head to the room behind her. 

Her cabin was composed of one large room with a wide bed and a couch pushed to one side. A dresser and arm chair sat on the other, with a tower of books on the floor next to them. Her kitchen had a counter to sit at and a few worn down stools. 

"You looking to come in?" she teased, noticing his curiosity. 

As much as he wanted to be behind a closed door with her, he shook his head. "You'll be kicking me out when you hear what I hafta say."

"Fuck... I _knew_ it! What reason does he have to keep her?!" she said, exasperated. He didn't even have to tell her the answer. She knew in her heart this whole time that John wouldn't play nice. 

"Seems you might have gotten under his skin a bit."

"Ha!" Hannah laughed sarcastically. "He thinks that was bad... just wait til I get down there again. I'm going to destroy that hideous sign of his, finally... Blow up every silo.."

Jacob watched as her features hardened and her brows furrowed. He had known she would be disappointed and had purposely kept his distance for a few days, not wanting to be the one to tell her. 

"You can't be going to the Valley. If you do, I can't protect you," he told her. 

She let her mind quiet for a moment, taking in what he had just said. "Protect me?"

"You don't think my hunters have been letting you waltz around here, on their own do ya? They know you're off limits."

She looked back to Boomer, nodding into the house to excuse him. The dog stared at her for a moment, but left as she asked. 

"Why would you do that?" she asked, feeling herself calm slightly. 

"You know why," Jacob murmured. It had to be obvious to her at this point. Had to. 

Hannah lowered her eyes to the floorboards, unable to keep the unbroken eye contact Jacob was so keen on. Her cheeks flushed slightly but she remained in control for the most part. 

"What does he want? What can I do?"

Jacob felt the sting of rejection but shook it off. Of course she hated him; why wouldn't she after all he had done to her?

"He'll sit down with you to negotiate but he's not going to be easy to break down. That one's more stubborn than you, if there is such a thing."

"Fine," Hannah said quickly, ignoring his insult. "When?"

"Slow down, you can't go in there on a war path. And I'll be going with you. You won't get far in the Valley on your own."

She thought about that but knew he was right. This whole thing could be a trap for all she knew. Honestly, it probably was with his sudden change of heart, willingness to help and lack of his usual confinement, conditioning and psychological torment. The more she thought about it, the more it concerned her. 

"I'll go alone," she told him, looking back to him. 

"No."

"I'd feel more comfortable."

"It's not up for discussion. I'll take you there at noon tomorrow."

Jacob turned and left, finally feeling a bit of his uneasiness slip away the further he got from her. Tomorrow would be another story. He loved and trusted his brother but not when it came to her. He would do anything to have her atone, Jacob knew as such, that's why he needed to be there. For her.


	11. Chapter 11

Jacob and Hannah drove in silence through the flat ground of the Valley; past farms and silos she had sworn she had already destroyed. Neither had said anything since they got in the truck but it wasn't bothering either of them. Both had other things on their minds. 

When they arrived at the Seed Ranch, Jacob straightened his posture and confidently strode from the truck and to the front door with Hannah close behind. He knocked twice loudly, glancing back to her to ensure she was still present. She met his gaze with a quick smile, causing him to fight off one of his own. She was showing so much strength, confronting John.

The door opened abruptly and John appeared - impeccably dressed, polished and with fire already in his eyes. His sights immediately went to Hannah as a rehearsed smile spread wide across his face. 

"Deputy," he cooed. "So nice of you to make time for me at long last."

Hannah fought the urge to roll her eyes at his phoniness but kept her shoulders squared and eyes forward, nodding once quickly. 

"Brother," John smiled up at him. It was a genuine smile this time; one that softened his features and made him appear years younger. 

"John."

John moved aside, allowing Jacob to move past him after he patted a large hand over his shoulder and returned his smile with one of his own. Hannah followed quickly behind, happy to be away from the Peggies who had gathered to see public enemy number one. 

Inside, her eyes skimmed over the beautiful decor and expensive furniture; not surprised at his choices. John moved quickly to the opposite side of the fireplace and waved a palm out to her to sit at the long dining table he had piled with boxes of ammo and files at the opposite end. She glanced quickly to Jacob who was now sitting at the head of the table, between the two seats that were presumably hers and John's. She lowered into her seat but didn't pull her chair in, in case she had to make her escape. 

"Well, before we begin... Let me start by saying the obvious. You've cost me more money than you've probably ever seen in your life, killed our people, destroyed my property and mocked me openly. You and your _friends_ couldn't just leave well enough alone, hmm? We were living in peace before you _snakes_ crawled into our garden."

Jacob watched as Hannah shifted in her chair, but only to sit taller. She stared his brother down with a fierceness he had never seen in her, even when he had her in his clutches at St. Francis. She waited until he was done speaking, giving him an extra few seconds in case he needed to add something else and then spoke. 

"I'm sure you're right about the money. And you couldn't begin to count the number of people I've killed - trust me, they still haunt me to this day. But I did it for Joey. You refused to release her and if we're to speak of public humiliation, you mocked me openly on a broadcast to the entire county; showing her to me the way you did. I did what I had to, to get to you but you're smarter than I gave you credit for," she stopped and folded her hands in front of her on the table. "I want my friend back. I'm willing to hear your terms."

John's lips pulled up quickly into a smirk. She was a tough one and defiant in a way he could appreciate. If only she had come to him willingly to start with. All of this would have been avoided. 

"I want nothing more than to see you buried beneath the ground. Skinned perhaps; your body nailed to the front of the church at Sunday service for all to see. But Joseph has plans for you. Believe me when I say it's he who is holding your fate in his hands. Jacob and I would see you dead if we had the chance."

"I don't doubt that," she said flatly. 

"Atone," John said, leaning back in his chair. "Confess your sins to me and atone for all you've done, _Wrath_. Join the Project willingly and I'll release your friend."

"And she's to remain unharmed."

"I can't guarantee that."

"You will, or we don't have a deal."

John stood, pushing back from the table with his palms out in front of him. "Then we'll do things the hard way," he said, nodding to Jacob. "Please restrain the deputy."

Hannah jumped from her seat, watching Jacob but he remained seated with his arms crossed. He hadn't come all this way to have her held prisoner again. He would help her if he could, though he knew he shouldn't. Everything he had been doing lately had been uncharacteristic though. 

"Joseph wants her. He would be proud of you if you were the one to help her through atonement," Jacob said calmly. He knew exactly what to say to pull on John's heartstrings. 

John gripped the table's edge, lowering his head as he thought it over. Finally he nodded slowly, lifting his face to hers with a victorious smile. "Yes. Of course. Deputy, your friend will remain unharmed but that is as far as my reach will extend."

"Then yes... I will atone and I will join you."


	12. Chapter 12

"Thank you."

Jacob glanced to Hannah who was sitting in the passenger seat next to him. John had agreed to give her the day to collect her thoughts and make sure Boomer was fed before she returned for her atonement. He had of course, tasked Jacob with bringing her back the next day. 

"For..?"

"For helping me," she said, finally turning her attention from the window. "You didn't have to."

Jacob stared back out the front window, not offering an explanation. He had been telling himself that he had done so for his brothers and to make sure she atoned as Joseph had asked him to do but there was more than that. He had done it for her because he knew she needed her friend to be safe. 

His thoughts went to what her atonement might look like and what might come after. A wave of uneasiness washed through him as he thought of her in the Valley with John. 

"You'll be safer in the mountains than in the Valley, even after you atone."

"Just can't get enough of me, huh?" Hannah grinned.

"Something like that," Jacob agreed. His eyes darted to her, taking in the smile still on her face. Everytime he pictured her, he thought of that smile and how it brightened her face and squinted her eyes when it met them. He pushed the thought away and forced himself to focus on the road again. 

The rest of the trip was made in silence until he pulled up to the end of the dirt road leading to her cabin. She would go on foot from there. 

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow."

"I know you're not happy but it's the best thing you can do for them."

"I know," she said truthfully. She rested her head back to the seat with a sigh and looked at Jacob. "The most fucked up part of all this is, I don't feel like I can even tell them about this. I would still love them regardless of what they chose but it doesn't go both ways."

"They're weak. They depend on you too much."

She sighed. "Right now, I feel like you're the only one I can open up to. How fucked up is that?"

"Ouch."

Hannah rolled her eyes and flashed him a look. "You know it is."

"Does it bother you that much?"

She shook her head slowly, knowing it was the truth. Over the past few weeks, she had been wrestling with her feelings for him; whatever they may be. She no longer saw him as strictly a villian and though it should scare her, she just couldn't bring herself to care anymore. He had been kind to her... on more than one occasion and that said a lot for someone like him. 

"No. Honestly, I feel like it should and maybe I'm ashamed that it doesn't. I... I know you're only doing what you think you have to."

"Hmm, got me all figured out, huh darlin'," he drawled. He didn't want to admit that she was right. 

"I think I know you better than you think. I can empathize with you, but not your brother. Joseph has taken things too far. You know that too don't you?"

Jacob watched her and the emotion that was building in her eyes. She was so hopeful, he realized. Hopeful that he would do the right thing, or at least know what that was. 

He did though... know. Every action he had taken in his life had been extreme, but as a soldier, it was necessary. That was what he still was and though he didn't agree with all of his brother's methods, he had to do his duty and protect them. 

That was his purpose. 

"It's not for me to... I've addressed it but.." he trailed off. There was no sense lying to her. 

"You're a good man," she said, taking him off guard. He was sure he was anything but. 

The space between them suddenly seemed too vast. He wanted to be next to her, to feel her touch and give himself to her. It had been so long - maybe never - since he exposed himself in such a vulnerable way. There were always women, but none that he connected with other than on a physical level. With her, it was different. She made him feel safe. 

He had struggled internally for so long but the feelings he was fighting lately towards her were all consuming. Everytime he saw her, it became harder to control himself. 

"Why do you have to make things so difficult? If we had stayed enemies, things would be so much fuckin easier," he admitted. 

"I know," she said sadly, knowing what he meant. He had been struggling too; she had sensed it for awhile now. But neither could act on it. It could never happen. "I just.... I should go."

Her cheeks had reddened and her voice lowered almost to a whisper. When she brought her eyes back to his face, she smiled shyly. 

Jacob let out the breath he had been holding, thankful that she had chosen to leave. He wouldn't be able to hold it together for much longer. "I'll see ya tomorrow then, Dep."

"Tomorrow," Hannah agreed. 

She stepped out of the truck and forced herself to walk calmly up the path to her cabin. When she knew she would be hidden by the trees, she held a palm to her forehead, pressing into it roughly. 

"Stupid, Hannah. Fucking stupid," she groaned.


	13. Chapter 13

  
_I have always kept you closer than you have known  
I am riding in the shadows behind you  
On a pale white horse._

*****

"Where are we going?" Hannah asked, feeling more nervous than she had earlier. Jacob had veered off the road towards the direction of John's ranch. 

"Joseph wants to be there."

Hannah thought about that, wondering if this would be bad for her or not. If John was to take her confession with Joseph nearby, perhaps she would be spared some unnecessary pain she was sure John had in store for her. 

Her thoughts went back to the last time they had seen one another. She was in Jacob's cages, on her knees; weak and emotionally ruined. Joseph had chosen that moment to revisit a memory of his past life, amidst the darkness and flickering flames that danced around them. 

_Her legs began to kick and kick..._

Hannah had felt sick almost immediately. What he was telling her, she had no empathy for - even as kind and sympathetic as her heart was - she could not see past such evil. 

_... And then stillness._

She had looked to Jacob immediately, not able to keep her eyes on the man who was confessing before her. He did not look to his brother but his expression was pained as he stared off. It was that expression she had remembered for the months to follow. 

_Release._

It was in that moment that she had become so aware that Jacob was not his brother. He was not absolved of wrongdoing. No, but he was more human than the rest. His love for his family was what had blinded him. 

Hannah sighed, thinking back on the moment. It wasn't until she felt a light touch on her knuckles that she woke from her daydream. She stared down at his scarred hand on hers. 

When he knew he had her attention, he removed his hand quickly and asked if she was okay. 

"I'm just nervous," she lied, not wanting him to know she was thinking of him again. 

"It'll be over soon."

She nodded and turned back to the window, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea at the thought of the pain she would soon have to endure. 

\---

"Deputy Ferris," Joseph said warmly as she and Jacob neared the front of the church. He and John had been sitting in the front pew, deep in conversation, when they arrived. She didn't reply, looking instead to John who was standing behind Joseph with his hands clasped behind his back. A predatory look was splayed across his young face. 

"I know your pain and I understand you are not yet trusting of us," Joseph continued. He took her left hand between both of his and gently led her to the front pew. Hannah tried not to recoil at his touch and sat beside him. Keeping her hand in his, he smiled warmly to her. "Tell me, do you know the meaning of your name?"

She shook her head, keeping his unbroken eye contact. Even though his smile was gentle and sincere, his eyes were sad like his brothers', she realized. Yet, she could not find the same empathy for him that she had for Jacob or on a lesser note, John. 

"It means the Grace of God," he told her, shifting slightly so he was a few inches closer. "Hannah was a woman of great faith; never wavering. Yet, she could not bare children. Year after year, she begged the priest Eli for prayers and guidance but was always met with disappointment. It wasn't until she spoke with God and promised her first born son to him that she became pregnant. When she had that child, she left him at the temple to be raised by the priest, as she had promised. Even as a mother, she knew a sacrifice must be made to reap the glory of her lord. The next year, she bore another child and then four more. But you see, it was only through personal sacrifice. Leaving your friends behind may be yours. It is not an easy choice but nothing worthy ever is."

Hannah watched as Joseph looked over her head to his brothers, smiling again. He leaned close to her and closed his eyes as if he were in deep thought. "It is not by coincidence that you are here. It is fate that has brought you to us. I've seen you at the gates, standing next to us. But you are not there to spectate - no, you are there to heal. I've seen the affects of your love on my brothers and I and it is beautiful."

He spoke so eloquently that Hannah had lost herself in his soft voice, forgetting for a moment who sat before her. She nodded involuntarily, taking in his words. When he had finished, she mulled them over, thinking of what it would be like at the gates. With his brothers. 

With... Jacob. 

She swallowed down the sentimental feeling she had and brought herself back to her reality, glancing behind her. John was watching, still hungrily but with genuine curiosity overtaking it. His eldest brother had his eyes on her, carefully watching her reactions. He was surprised when she seemed genuinely drawn to Joseph's words and even more surprised when she smiled sweetly to him. He felt his pulse quicken almost immediately but suppressed the urge to return her smile. 

"I'm ready," she told Joseph when she turned back. He smiled and pulled her to him in a strong embrace. One she could not find the strength to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Opening is from the song "Witch Image" by Ghost.


	14. Chapter 14

Jacob and Joseph had chosen to sit in the front pew as John circled the deputy, sitting in her chair at the front of the church. He had questioned her unrelentingly for some time; finding out she would need to atone for the sins of gluttony and envy. Seems she had a jealous side for pretty near everything so the decision to tattoo the word prominently on her stomach seemed fitting. 

"I do believe you my dear when you say you're neither vain nor prideful but we've forgotten one last sin, hmm? Lust," John announced. "It's a very primal instinct, isn't it? One that is difficult to escape but we must resist the urges our body pushes on our spirit."

"I'll be needing that one too," Hannah groaned. She had grown impatient, speaking of every detail in her life. He had known more about her in the past few hours than most of her friends knew. 

"_Confess_," John purred from behind her. He leaned down and placed his hands on her shoulders, kneading the skin slightly as if they were close. 

"I'm lustful. Always have been. And I suppose I regret it," she said. Hannah tried moving forward in her seat but John's hands were firmly planted. 

"Dep-yoo-ty," John hummed. "You know you have to give me more than that."

Hannah held back the urge to roll her eyes and focused instead on her words. "I lost my virginity when I was nineteen. I was a late bloomer compared to my friends but only because I didn't trust anyone enough to get that close. His name was Gabriel. I thought he loved me but... I gave myself to him in every way."

"He broke your heart," John said, releasing his grasp on her. He walked to her front and watched as she exposed her soul to him. 

"Yes. We were together for years but he left. I shouldn't be surprised really... everyone seems to," she lowered her head and wrung her hands in her lap. "After that, I couldn't get enough. I craved... a connection, I suppose. I ended up sleeping with so many people that I barely remember their faces anymore. Some, I didn't even know their names. It was never enough. It never filled that hole... Of what I was missing from my childhood I suppose."

John dropped to his knees and held her hands in her lap, knowing exactly how that had felt. How many women and men had he been with over the years? Just searching for love or at least a temporary fix. 

She wanted desperately to pull away from him but she knew this might happen when she had fabricated the lie as she laid in bed the night before. She knew of John's past and of how touch starved he was. She read of his many conquests and knew she may be able to play to his sensitive side, no matter how well he had hidden it. 

"It was wrong. All of it, but it helped for a bit. Then, I met a man in Hope County and moved here to be with him. That's when I took the job at the station as a junior deputy."

"His name?" 

"Aaron."

Jacob's attention was instantly on her, recognizing the name from the story Staci had told him. He leaned forward, listening. 

"What happened?" 

"He ended up being a real asshole," she said, straightening up and pulling her hands back. She had chosen to add an element of truth to the story to ensure it was believable but she wasn't prepared for the anger she would feel at saying his name again. "He liked to beat up women."

"What did you do?" John asked. He glanced behind him to Jacob and Joseph, ensuring their attention was still on them. Joseph was watching with worry on his face. 

"Nothing. I left but I didn't do anything."

"I suppose that's further proof of my unfair assumption of you," he said quietly, glancing to the letters that were peaking above the neck of her shirt. He chewed his lip for a moment, then nodded as if he had a thought. "Do you feel lust for anyone now?"

She laughed internally, wondering if he was hinting at himself. Sharky and Addie were convinced he wanted to fuck her, and he _was_ quite full of himself. The thought might not have amused her as much if she wasn't aware of the personality behind the good looks. 

"No," she answered. 

"No one?"

Hannah shook her head, unable to admit it to him, let alone herself. "Everything inside of me is dead now. There's no more room for that."

Her eyes darted for a half a second to Jacob before she was aware that they had; catching the quick glimpse of something in his eyes. She wasn't sure Jacob had noticed her attention but sure as hell, John did. Quickly, he was pressing his hands down on the arms of her chair, looming over her. 

"Lying is a sin, my dear," he hissed. "How can I help you if you will not be truthful with me?"

"I am..."

His fingers were up quickly to her throat, not tightly but as a means of threatening her if she didn't give him what he asked for. "Answer the question again."

His eyes pierced into hers intrusively. When she didn't answer right away, he tightened his grip. 

Jacob was on his feet before he realized it. He crossed the stage of the church to his brother and pulled back on John's arm, bringing him back from the chair and to his feet. John's eyes widened as he realized who had restrained him. 

"Control yourself, John."

"The same control she's shown, murdering our flock?!" he bellowed. His temper was threatening to break free of the restraints he had placed on it during the confession but to see his brother embarrass him so openly, sent a fury of rage through his body. "Where are your loyalties brother?"

Jacob felt the sting from his words. His loyalty had and always would be with his family. He had given up so much for them. But John would know that and would have chosen his words wisely, he reminded himself. 

"The deputy confessed like you asked. There's no need for this."

John snorted as he turned back to Hannah who was sitting in disbelief. Her eyes stayed with Jacob, watching his every move. John let his linger on her for a moment before he whipped around to Jacob again. "That's it, isn't it? Is this why she turned to you when she spoke of lust? You and the deputy are off fucking? Is that it?"

"That's none of your business," Jacob answered calmly. He refused to get into a pissing match with John, as easy as it would be. He hoped his demeanor would sooth his brother but it did the opposite, much to his frustration. 

"And we're to allow this?" John asked in disbelief, turning to Joseph who had stood to join them but remained quiet. 

"John, this is not the time to argue," Joseph said calmly. "You must help the deputy with love and acceptance in your heart. This rage will consume you."

Everyone watched as John lowered his head as if he had been scolded. The anger on his face seemed to wane but his hands remained clenched. Hannah felt the urge to grab him right then and there for what he had said to his brother but she knew better. This whole thing could go one of two ways and it was beneficial for her that it go as smoothly as possible. She knew she had to defuse this situation. 

"Yes," she said quietly. John's fingers relaxed and he turned to her with amusement on his face. "I lied... Look, apparently I can't lie myself out of a wet paper bag but nothing's happened. Ever. Your brother doesn't see me that way and never will so please, just stop this."

Jacob's eyebrows raised slightly as her admission. He watched her, hoping to catch her eye to relay his thoughts to her silently but she kept her eyes on John who was now smirking in her direction. 

"I confess to envy, gluttony and to lust. And I'm ready for my atonement when you chose to proceed."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank fluttyseed again for her input, wonderful ideas and support throughout this story! Her fics are incredible (and addictive) and you should check them out if you get the chance. 
> 
> Also, thanks to darkphoenix-24! I needed that pep talk girl, trust me! I had been writing this story with everyone else's opinion in mind and ended up hating my characters but I'm going to loosen up and give them a bit of playfulness that my stories are known for. Who cares if it's not 100% accurate, right? 😁 right?? Ahem. But seriously, thank you for the insight!!
> 
> Phoenix's stories are so beautifully written as well, especially if you're a John Thot! I highly recommend them!

"Wear your sins for everyone to see. Expose them," John told Hannah when he was done tattooing her sin. 

She was left with envy on the back of her left arm (John thought it was fitting since she had a lotus flower tattoo on that forearm and the two contrasted one another), lust on the back of her upper right thigh and gluttony across her upper back. They were hidden to her for the most part, which she was grateful for. 

Hannah stood and pulled her t-shirt back on, happy Jacob had allowed her a moment of privacy while John proceeded with her tattoos. Where he went, she wasn't sure. Joseph had remained seated in the front row, staring at her with a dark look on his face the entire time but his opinion didn't matter to her in the slightest so she shrugged it off. 

"When do I get these... removed?" she asked, praying it wouldn't be today. 

"When you are comfortable that you have given them up and are ready to atone for them... truly atone. But you've taken the first step. I must say, I didn't think you would say yes to me."

"Forgive me?" She teased. 

"It will take much more than that for me to forget but if we're to be family, I can forgive."

"Good thing I didn't blow your yes sign up with Hurk when he offered then, huh?"

John's lips twitched slightly. Apparently he didn't have much of a sense of humour. 

"Hannah, I am overjoyed that you have chosen to walk with us," Joseph said behind her. When she turned, he was giving her the same loving smile he always did. 

"Look... I know you're both intelligent and that you know I'm not happy about this, but I do mean it when I say I wouldn't have done anything against you if it weren't for my friends. I haven't enjoyed it."

John's expression softened as he glanced down at the neck of her t-shirt again, tracing the letters he had given her so long ago. "Perhaps you would like to join me for dinner at the ranch? As a sign of good faith." 

"I'd just like to get home, honestly. I'm worn out. But... Joey?" 

"When you atone," John said quickly. 

"Then let me atone now."

"You're not ready, deputy. I can see the strain you're under to leave your sins behind. It would be unwise to allow you to go through with that."

Hannah felt her cheeks redden as a heat built up inside of her. This whole thing was a game to him, she realized. One to make him feel in control of something for once in his life. She turned to Joseph, pleading with him silently while she bit her tongue. 

"John, we had a deal. Deputy Hudson is to be freed. However, as my brother has pointed out Hannah, you have not fully atoned. We will need you to do something for us in return to show you truly intend on leaving your past life behind."

"And what exactly would that be?" she asked, unable to keep the poison from her tone. 

"A broadcast... to the people of Hope County, renouncing your title as deputy and clarifying your intentions going forward."

John smiled widely at that. 

"Fine. But we do it today and you release Joey today, or this whole thing is off."

"Yes, of course. John, please arrange for what is needed to start. If you'd like some fresh air beforehand Hannah, please feel free," Joseph told her, motioning his hand to the front door. 

She didn't wait a second before taking the opportunity she was given and headed out the door. Outside, Peggies eyed her up curiously. She hurried past them, keeping her chin held high as she did and found a corner of the Compound which was relatively quiet. When she rounded the corner of one of the white buildings and leaned against the back of it, she heard him clear his throat. When she glanced next to her, she finally saw Jacob watching her with an amused look on his face. 

"I didn't see you. Must be the camo."

"You're distracted," he commented. He hadn't seen her this frazzled before. She looked like she was ready to start hyperventilating. "John finish up with you?"

"Oh no. That would be too fucking easy. We're going to do a broadcast."

Jacob rolled his eyes, chosing not to hide it this time. Always with the damn theatrics. His gaze turned back to Hannah when she started to laugh. It was high pitched and hearty, escaping her mouth in quick little bursts. He couldn't stop himself from smiling. 

"What the hell is wrong with your family?!" she asked as she caught her breath between laughs. Jacob smirked, on the brink of laughter himself for the first time in a long time. Her laugh was just so contagious. 

When she finally calmed down and wiped at her eyes, she shook her head the tiniest bit and rested it back to the outside of the building, turning it in Jacob's direction. "Will he let her go?"

"He made a promise."

"That's not what I asked."

"He will. Joseph and I will see to it."

"I have to thank you... again. For reeling him in earlier..."

"Deputy?" 

Jacob and Hannah turned to the direction of the voice, recognizing John's singsong tone. She groaned but made her way to the voice with Jacob close behind. When John spotted them from across the yard, his eyes darted between the two but he pushed a smile to his face. 

"Hannah," John said sweetly when she approached. He seemed much calmer now that the confession was done and she was cooperating but she knew she couldn't trust his exterior. Lord knows what was going on internally. "We're set up and ready for you."

He held a hand out to her, waiting as she stared at it for a few seconds before she placed hers on top and let his fingers envelope her hand. He smiled at her as he led her gently through the crowd of onlookers. Before they stepped into the church again, Hannah peeked over her shoulder to see Jacob trailing behind. She gave him a small smile but he was staring off, not paying attention. 

Jacob was busy staring at their entwined fingers. He knew his brother was in his zone - putting on a show for the followers and for Hannah - but the sight of their touch sent a possessive pulse through him. He knew John didn't shy away from the affection of the women around him but kept telling himself this was only to make her more comfortable; nothing more. 

"We would like you to stand here, when you're ready. I've prepared cue cards for you to read," he explained, moving Hannah to the spot he had indicated. His expression grew dark for a moment as he turned to her. "Please say only what is on the cards. It won't be a live broadcast."

"I'm going to behave, John. Trust me when I say I'm not bullshitting you."

"Please forgive my skepticism. It's been a flaw of mine for most of my life," he admitted. John clapped his hands together once and swirled to the camera, "Now, let us begin!"


	16. Chapter 16

"People of Hope County... I'm sure most of you are aware of my identity but for those of you who are not, my name is Hannah Ferris. I'm a deputy with this county's Sheriff's department," Hannah paused as the cue cards instructed, presumably for dramatic effect. "A few months ago, I - along with Sheriff Whitehorse, Deputy Pratt and Deputy Hudson - arrived with a warrant for the arrest of Joseph Seed."

She paused yet again, as the cards read and watched John until he pointed back to her direction. 

"That was the first I made in a very long line of mistakes. Legally, the evidence the Marshal put together was inadmissible and has since been overturned. He himself has redacted the need for such a warrant and has returned to his office. After reviewing the case that was sloppily put together on hearsay alone, Deputy Pratt and I have decided to step down from our posts."

Hannah stopped again as instructed and even stayed calm as was always written. She waited for a few seconds before Staci stepped forward from the adjacent room and stood at her side. The two smiled at each other - genuine smiles at seeing one another again. When Hannah turned the the camera again, John held out another cue card with Staci's name at the top. 

"We were rash and unforgiving, and acted in a way that was in pure disregard of our positions. I can't allow myself to go back to being a deputy after seeing the injustice that has happened here. The Seed family are just what this county needs. Hannah and I wouldn't be standing here, together again, if it weren't for their help," he said in an almost too believable way. She knew Staci would want to sell it but she was starting to think he might buy into everything the Seeds had been telling them. 

Hannah spoke again when it was her cue. "I'm laying down my arms. I'm joining the Project at Eden's Gate and I will walk to the gates. I encourage any of my friends to join me. Please... do what is necessary and keep the peace. Too many lives have been taken at the hands of the Resistance to....."

She trailed off, feeling uncomfortable at that part. Yes, the Resistance had taken lives and probably most were innocent but the Project did as well. She hated that she had to absolve them of any wrong doing. 

"Hannah, we must continue," John pushed her. 

"I can't..." she said softly. She looked to Staci who was watching her with concern. "How can I say only one side is guilty? How can I condemn my friends?"

John crossed the distance between them quickly and laid a hand on both of her shoulders. He leaned in to her face to ensure she was listening. "We had a deal."

"I know. I know... but look, they're going to know this is scripted and that won't help your cause. I don't speak like this... Just, let me say what I have to. Let me speak from the heart," she reasoned. 

"Hmm," John hummed. He let go of her shoulders and paced a few steps. "Yes. Yes, you're right. But I have the right to make changes to anything you say, agreed?"

"Agreed."

\---

When the broadcast was finally recorded and John seemed content, he allowed Hannah to leave with Jacob and Staci. It was agreed that she would have time to grab her belongings from her cabin before moving to the vet center temporarily - at Jacob's request. He pointed out the fact that some of the Resistance might not be too happy with her announcement and the safest place for her in the short term was at St. Francis. 

"Pratt, stay with the truck. You have your radio?" Jacob asked when he parked at the top of the trail to her cabin. 

"Yes. Should be okay though. It's quiet out this way."

Jacob nodded and hopped out of the truck. He waited at the front of it for Hannah as she glanced back at Staci. He gave her a big smile and told her to hurry up. 

"Be back soon," she assured him and headed out to meet Jacob before they hiked the steep embankment to her home. 

"You're much nicer to him," Hannah commented while she dug for her key. 

"He hasn't given me a reason not to be lately."

"Still, I appreciate it," she told him. When the door was unlocked, she bent down as she opened it to allow Boomer to run into her arms. He did momentarily before noticing Jacob and growled in his direction instead. "Its okay Boom. Jacob's not going to hurt us. Turns out, he's a bit of a softie."

She glanced over her shoulder with a smirk but he was already leaning down to pet the dog. He glanced to her quickly but brought his attention back to Boomer. Jacob had always had a weakness for canines. 

"Alright, so how long am I packing for?" she asked as they all made their way into her cabin. She pulled out a large duffle bag from under her bed and unzipped it, waiting for his reply.

"Pack it all," he answered, glancing around her home. Seems she had a real problem with organization, he observed. Books were piled everywhere as well as maps, arrows she had been fashioning and clothes on the floor. Her bed wasn't made the last time he had been here and it wasn't again now. 

"Can you grab those books over on the armchair for me? The first five on top. It's a series," she explained as she fished clothes from her dresser and piled it into the bag, stuffing them down to make more room. 

Jacob made his way to the direction she had pointed and picked them up. It was some fantasy series he had never heard of. The woman on the front cover was adorned with two daggers on one of them and with a strange mist around her in another. It seemed odd to him that these would be the ones she would choose but he shrugged and placed them in the bag like she asked him to. 

At this point, Hannah had run into the bathroom and was bringing out an armful of toiletries. She threw them on top of the heap and jogged to the fridge, pulling out a bag of dried meat. She tossed it at Jacob, telling him to help himself to the jerky. 

A bag of chocolate chips, more bags of jerky and a can of instant coffee were also added to her bag before she zipped it up. 

"You're much happier than I expected," Jacob admitted. She seemed so carefree at the moment. 

"Your brother's not the only one good at faking it," she winked but sighed when she noticed Jacob's expression. "I guess I just feel better that Joey is going to be safe and Staci seems to be doing better. This isn't ideal but it's what I wanted from the get go."

She unzipped the bag Jacob had been holding and grabbed two pieces of jerky from inside. Popping one in her mouth, she added, "Plus, I have your charming personality to look forward to everyday."

She forced the other piece in his mouth, grinning at the scowl he gave as she did. He couldn't believe the positivity of her, even after everything he had put her through, let alone the nerve she had at forcing food into his mouth. 

Jacob swore internally, regretting the thought of her in his cages. He pushed it away and grabbed her duffle bag instead, nodding to the door with his cheeks still full. 

"I just need my bow," she announced as she dropped to her knees and dug around under the bed. 

"We have weapons, you know."

"True, but I like this one," she pointed out, still on her knees. She pulled the bow out and rested back on her haunches, looking up to him. 

He knew it was wrong - and of all moments to feel it - but his cock twitched slightly at the sight of her knelt in front of him, gazing up at him. What he would do to place his hand on the back of her head and guide her to...

"We should go," Jacob said quickly, needing the distraction. He turned and headed to the door before she was on her feet, letting Boomer out the door first. 

Hannah smiled at the sight of them together. Grabbing her quiver and hunting knife, she closed the door behind her and made her way to her new home.


	17. Chapter 17

Jacob watched in his rearview mirror as Hannah and Staci laughed in the back of his truck. Her dog had made a beeline for the front seat so she hopped in back, giving the luxury to her pet. Jacob of course didn't mind. After what happened at the cabin, he was ready to give himself some distance from her. They weren't enemies any longer but he didn't need anyone to distract him from his job right now, even if that's what she had been doing ever since he first saw her. 

"Don't even talk about that! I had way too much to drink and it wasn't my fault," Hannah scolded as she laughed softly, hitting Staci in the arm. 

"You grabbed the poor guy while he was pissing!"

"Okay, but I didn't _know_ that! He was outside."

Staci chuckled and leaned his head back on the seat, sighing contently. "I haven't smiled since we were all split up."

"Well now we'll be living together for a bit, so you'll soon see how truly annoying I can be. I just wish..."

"What?" he asked, glancing over to her. 

"I wish Joey would... she's going to join the Resistance, Stace."

"I know," Staci agreed. He put his arm around Hannah, pulling her to him as a means of comforting her. "We'll talk to her."

Hannah nodded, closing her eyes and huddling into her friend. At some point in the drive, she fell into a sleep - free of nightmares for the first time since Joseph's arrest. 

\---

"Show her to her room, alright?" Jacob huffed as he took off for his office. The drive home had stirred more emotions in him than he wanted to admit and he needed to clear his head. 

"Someone's grumpy," Hannah whispered when he was out of earshot. 

"Yeah... not sure what's up. I think he said you're in here though," Staci nodded down the hall as he led the way. 

Hannah looked into the empty and abandoned rooms as she passed. It didn't look like anyone had been in them for years with their broken down furniture and odd stains on the floor. When they finally passed a small room with modest furnishings. Staci explained that was his room and opened the door next to his to escort Hannah into hers. 

It was similiar to Staci's - dresser, nightstand and a single bed but hers had a small bookcase in one corner. She wondered if that was intentional after Jacob had seen the mess of books she had everywhere the first time he had visited. 

"No one else is on the floor except us and Jacob. There was another guy... uh, Frank maybe? But he just never came back from a patrol. I think he was one of Jacob's second in command. So yeah... just us."

"Where's Jacob sleep?"

"He doesn't," Staci laughed nervously. It had obviously reminded him of something. "He... his office is behind those double doors and his bedroom is next to it but I don't think he uses it."

"Mm," Hannah nodded. She wasn't sure what else to say. 

"I'll show you where to eat later and where we keep supplies but you'll probably want to unpack, huh?"

Hannah nodded, picking up the duffle bag she had dropped to the floor earlier; feeling uncomfortable with its weight. Staci nodded back and slipped into his room, giving her some privacy. 

\---

It took a few hours but Jacob's mood had settled to a dull uneasiness, which was normal for him, he supposed. He had spent his time in his office and on his balcony, watching his soldiers work on the ground below him, but decided he should check on Hannah. No doubt she had thrown her belongings into some disorganized mess in her room by now. 

As he headed down the hall, her voice echoed off the walls along with Staci's. He knew he should turn back but decided it was time to break up this honeymoon and get Staci back to work. 

"You seem happy... I mean, I'm glad but doesn't any of this bother you?"

"It does," she agreed. "But, I mean... I don't know. I was told to arrest Joseph and I was only doing it to do my job. Whitehorse was right... we shouldn't have fucked with them. It's just made everything worse."

"Fucking right," Staci agreed. 

"Joey will be free soon and I've made a deal so she'll be safe. Whitehorse is out free in the Henbane and I have you back... that's honestly all I cared about. As selfish as that is... this is a fucking war. Both sides are wrong for different reasons."

"They're much nicer when you comply," Staci chuckled dryly. 

"Yeah... Well, that's to be seen. Joseph is a fucking write off as far as I'm concerned. John, I dunno... I think he just needs someone to love him, honestly. Poor guy is starving for a normal relationship. And Jacob..." she paused, thinking about him. 

Jacob took a few steps closer and then stopped, waiting for her to continue. 

"He breaks my heart, truthfully. I just want to hold him and tell him he needs to stop fighting for once in his life. His brother's ruined him."

Staci sat silently, thinking that over. He had been through so much more than Hannah - beaten by the guards and conditioned by Jacob. His trials seemed never ending. But lately, things had been better. He was almost like an assistant to Jacob now and everyone left him alone. If things had started this way, he might have joined willingly to begin with but they hadn't. 

He could however, empathize with the eldest Seed more than the others, even through his anger and as each day passed, he started to let go of the tiniest sliver of it that he still held onto. 

"I told John I lusted for Jacob during my confession," Hannah admitted. She hated herself for admitting it to Staci but she needed to say it. It had been bothering her. 

"You what?"

"He knew... Fuck, the guy can read people. I tried lying but he tried to choke me."

"Fuck... Are you okay?"

"Jacob stopped him," she told him with a small smile. "I'm so fucked Stace. Why the hell am I drawn to him? I know it's wrong. It's so _fucking_ wrong."

Jacob inhaled deeply, blocking out what Staci was saying. He replayed her words again to himself. 

So, he hadn't imagined it. 

He had felt something from her but he wondered if it was only him grasping at something that wasn't there. But now he knew. 

Jacob sighed, knowing his struggle to keep his distance had just gotten harder.


	18. Chapter 18

"They're broadcasting!" Staci called down the hall to Hannah. She had just started to get ready to go downstairs for something to eat when she heard his footsteps thunder down the hall. 

"Shit," she cursed under her breath, leaving her hoodie behind as she ran out to meet him. He was beckoning to her to join him in the room across the hall from Jacob's office. When she got inside, she saw it was some kind of surveillance room; equipped with monitors. Jacob stood in front of them, watching the screen with her face on it. 

"Hope County, I've failed you; in my duty to protect you and in my duty to keep order in our towns. Things have gotten so out of hand, haven't they? Neighbours are fighting one another and honestly, we all know peace is no where in sight. I can't call myself a deputy anymore and I can't bring myself to fight. Every person I've hurt - and they are still people - has haunted me. It's easy to extinguish what we think is a threat but not so easy to think of the human lives behind the threat, is it? We're all wrong here. None of us are above the other and still we fight."

Even though they had all been present when the broadcast was filmed, they still watched the screen with full attention. 

"But I'm not fighting anymore," Hannah continued in the broadcast. "I'm laying down my weapons to secure my friend's safety. It's the last good thing I can do in this life. Staci Pratt and I are officially retiring from the Sheriff's department and we'll be joining the Project at Eden's Gate. I know the Resistance and my friends will not understand and probably never forgive me but I'm doing this of my own free will. I believe with all my heart that mankind is doomed - it's evident in everything we see. If Joseph Seed can help prepare us for the end of the world, then I think we should let him. Please... just please, think of every option before you make a choice. Things are difficult now but when the world recreates itself, it doesn't have to be."

The tv went black as Hannah took in a deep breath. "Well, now we wait."

"Hudson's free," Jacob said flatly. He continued to stare at the monitor even though the broadcast had ended.

"She is for sure?" Hannah asked excitedly. Jacob nodded. "Where is she?"

"They dropped her off at Falls End. I made sure they told her who she had to thank for it too," he told her, finally turning to her direction. 

"Thank you. Jacob.. honestly, I.. can't thank you enough."

"Don't mention it." He brushed past Hannah and out the door, leaving the ex deputies behind. 

"I'll come see you later okay?" Hannah asked Staci as they stared at one another after Jacob's obvious mood. He nodded and took off down the hall to his room. 

Hannah made her way down the hall herself, peering in doors as she went but couldn't find any sign of Jacob. She knocked at his office doors, kicking herself for not just starting there to begin with. 

A few seconds later, the door opened. Jacob stood with a questioning look on his face. 

"Can we talk?" 

"About?" he asked. 

"Well, about your pissy mood really," she said, laying it out there. There was no need to be subtle with him; she knew that. 

"Oh, well if that's all," he shot back sarcastically, stepping aside to let her inside. 

She recognized the room immediately. The last time she was here, Staci was pushing her off the balcony to safety. It sent an uneasy feeling through her immediately. She watched the balcony doors fearfully for a moment until she felt Jacob behind her. 

"I want to see her. Joey," she said, still staring straight ahead. 

"You're a free woman. Do what you like."

"Am I though?" Hannah asked, turning to him. He was a foot away from her, looming over her with that presence of his. She looked up to him. "Aren't you expecting me to fight for you and your family? To be one of your soldiers?" 

"I won't force you."

"All I can promise is that I won't kill anyone in the Project. I'll leave your property alone and let you do what you have to without interfering. Deal?"

"Like I said darlin', I ain't forcing you."

His voice lowered to that sexy rasp she had thought of for so long. Unconsciously, she bit her bottom lip and drank in the sight of him. Fuck, why was this so difficult? Why couldn't he just be one of the "good guys"? She'd have been all over him by now if he was. Hannah had a lot of acceptance in her heart and let people away with far more than she should, but she knew it was wrong to get involved with one of the Seeds. 

"Thanks Jake," she whispered, unsure of what else to say. 

Jacob raised his eyebrows slightly at the nickname but gave her a quick smile and nodded in acknowledgment. When she didn't speak again, he began to feel uncomfortable with the silence for the first time. Searching for words, he said the first thing he could think of. "My men know to leave you alone but if anyone touches you..."

"I get to break their arm?" she asked, smiling sweetly. 

"Exactly," he chuckled. He needed to remind himself that she could handle herself. 

"Perfect. Well, I should grab something to eat. I'll see you later?" 

Jacob nodded and watched as she closed the doors behind him. Each time they spoke, he was left with a feeling in the pit of his stomach; thick and uneasy. With her being in his home now, he would have to find a better way to cope.


	19. Chapter 19

The rest of the day and the next went by too quickly for Hannah's liking. Staci had shown her around the grounds and introduced her to a few select people (he still avoided the rest.). They listened to the radio for any word from her old allies but other than a few rants and insults her way, it was rather quiet. 

Jacob had seemed to disappear after their last conversation, so the two had amused themselves and watched the surveillance monitors, poked around his office and chit chatted. 

It was getting late again and Hannah was now laid out on Staci's bed as he sat at her feet, mulling over what they should do about Joey. 

"Jacob said I can go see her if I want."

"Yeah, but they'll shoot you down if you go waltzing in there. You were their leader who went rogue, afterall."

"I know. I just keep thinking of them all... Jess. Fuck, she's going to be so pissed. She was one of my best friends. And Sharky," Hannah felt herself start to tear up. "Nick and Kim..."

"You guys have been close. They'll forgive you. I don't know who Jess is but... Boshaw?"

Hannah laughed, knowing Staci would have recognized the name from the various phone calls they had received over the years. "He's actually an amazing guy... and hilarious! I... I'm going to miss him."

The tears she had been holding back finally surfaced as she pushed her head back to the pillow and covered her face with her hands, shielding his view. Staci moved up the bed and ran a hand over her hair, soothing her.

"It's okay. We have each other now."

"I know. I'm so grateful for you," she told him, sitting up to put her arms around him. He held her back, letting her tears collect on his shoulder. 

\---

Jacob had just gotten back home and was ready to crash for the night when he noticed the doors to his office were open. He quieted his steps, moving quickly to the door. It was already close to 3:00 a.m. and anyone who may be stupid enough to go in there without his permission would be sleeping by now. 

Peering around the corner, he saw the doors to the balcony wide open. She stood with her back to him, hands grasping the railing as she looked out to the night sky. Her long hair floated around her lightly as the wind picked up. 

"Making yourself right at home, I see," he scoffed behind her. 

She turned to him, still keeping her hands firmly planted. "I needed some fresh air. I'm sorry."

Jacob noticed the slight puffiness under her eyes and the gloss to them - she had been crying. His first thoughts went to the hunters he had warned over and over again on the property. They were to be civil and leave her alone. They all knew the consequences for disobedience, especially when it came to her. 

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing her by the shoulders and spinning her around slowly to face him. His eyes roamed across her face and then her body for any signs of injury. 

"Nothing. I'm good," Hannah assured him with a forced smile. "Just can't sleep."

His eyes continued to roam until he was convinced she was unharmed. When he realized his hands were on her, he dropped them quickly. Hannah felt the emptiness between them as soon as he did and spun back to the railing. She ran her hand over it slowly, thinking of the night she had escaped. 

"This is how I escaped, you know."

"I know. I have cameras."

"Of course," she agreed. Fuck... Of course. 

Hannah sighed and turned back to him again, shoving her hands in the front pocket of her hoodie. The wind had picked up considerably and even for Montana, it was down right cold. When she looked up, he was watching her with that intense stare of his. Their eyes met and for some reason unknown to her, she couldn't look away. 

Jacob watched as the sadness that was in her eyes disappeared. She looked instead to him with surprise. 

_Five seconds passed..._

His gaze shifted to her lips as she parted them the slightest bit and sucked in her bottom lip as if she were deep in thought. 

_... and ten more... _

Something primal and raw inside of him scratched at the surface, threatening to break free. He thought of turning her to lean over the balcony as his hands ripped at her clothes from behind. 

_thirty..._

She shifted on her feet, leaning closer. An unconscious move, he was sure but her body pulled him in. 

He had never lost control before. Never given himself to someone so willingly but in that moment, Jacob found himself unable to hold back. He leaned down quickly and pushed his lips to hers, drinking her in. 

Hannah's eyes flew open, in disbelief. She stood still as the earth stopped around her. Every sound in the night quieted. Every rustle of the leaves and the wind in her hair dulled and the world became something strange and unknown to her. Her enemy was kissing her but somehow, it just felt _right_.

Her lips were soft against his but gradually they hardened as she pushed back finally. When a low moan escaped her lips, pushing into his open mouth, he tightened the grasp he had in her hair and pulled her closer. 

His heart beat frantically as she pushed against him and walked him back inside until he bumped against the table behind him. 

It took a split second for him to stumble against the edge of it but that was long enough for Hannah to realize her mistake. She couldn't - wouldn't - allow herself to do this. As badly as her body wanted it, her mind refused.

Pulling back, Hannah brushed at her bottom lip with her thumb as she glanced to the floor shyly. A smile crept to her lips, even as she tried to fight it. 

"I should probably get some sleep. I'm sure you're tired too," Hannah said quickly as she brushed past him and headed to the door. She glanced back - unable to help herself - at a wide eyed Jacob who was watching her from the spot she left him. "Night Jake."

With that, she was gone before he had a chance to respond; not that he would have. He groaned and closed his eyes, still feeling her lips against his.


	20. Chapter 20

Jacob sank down on the bed in the corner of his office, head spinning from the whirlwind of events that had just transpired. When he closed his eyes, he could still taste her on his lips and feel her hands on his chest as though she were still pushing him inside. He wondered what had changed for her so suddenly. There must have been some truth to her admission to John but he realized now that the things he had done to her when she was in his "care" earlier, were probably still burning fresh in her mind. 

Closing his eyes, he tried to push the thought of her away as he was sure she was doing the same, but his body reacted against him. He fought to ignore it but ultimately gave in as he slid his palm under the waistband of his boxers, grasping at his cock that was already pushing painfully at the fabric.

As he pumped away, he remembered the smell of citrus in her hair and the softness of her lips. The ferocity in her eyes as she completed the trials and also the kindness in them that was present under any other circumstance.

His grip tightened as he tugged roughly at his shaft, closing his eyes tightly as he did, thinking of the way her t-shirt clung to her curves when she left her baggy sweatshirt behind. 

Jacob moaned at that, letting his memory graze over her body again and again. He focused on the sway of her full hips, almost mesmerizing him as she neared. 

What he wouldn't give to dig his fingertips into them as he fucked her relentlessly. 

"Fuck," Jacob groaned as he felt his muscles tighten and his body finally release the pent up frustration he had been feeling since she arrived. 

He shuddered as he came hard into his palm and sighed heavily, angry at himself already that he had just given her more of himself than she had already taken. 

\---

The sunlight beating through the open balcony door woke Jacob the next morning. Glancing over to the clock on the far wall, he was surprised to see it was 8:00 a.m. already. He had actually slept through most of the few hours he was in bed. 

As he rose to his feet, he stretched his back from the pain the broken down mattress always caused him and moved to the open door, stepping out onto the balcony. 

Below, his soldiers were tending to the new supply they had apparently just received; carrying weapons inside and loading another truck with the food that would be going to the bunker. Jacob swept the yard, noticing a new prisoner van with its doors opened to one side. On the other, stood Pratt - waving his arms as a means of directing a quad coming in through the gates. On his side, stood Hannah. She leaned against the gate with her hands jammed into the front pocket of her hoodie, watching her friend with an amused look on her face. Every so often, he would turn to her and each time, she greeted him with a smile. 

Jacob stood with his hands splayed out on the railing, watching with interest as Staci nodded to her and poked a finger to the front of the building. She nodded in agreement and chatted away but they were too far for Jacob to make it out. 

As they approached, her face tilted suddenly to the third story, meeting Jacob's eyes. She held his gaze with every step she took until she was nearly beneath him and smiled with a blush rising to her cheeks. Quickly, she looked away and disappeared inside. 

Her mind flooded with images of Jacob's softened features from the night before as he leaned into her and the way he held her head as his lips moved against hers. 

"What is it?" Staci asked her. 

"Huh?"

"You look like you're remembering the best moment of your life," he chuckled softly. 

"I'm just... it's nothing, really. C'mon, we better get something to eat before everyone else piles in here."

Staci nodded and quickened his steps to keep pace with Hannah, heading to the kitchen for some breakfast.


	21. Chapter 21

"I don't think this is a good idea," Staci tried reasoning with Hannah again as she packed a handful of arrows into her quiver and strapped her pistol to her hip. When she first arrived at St. Francis, it was tucked away in her dresser. She hadn't thanked Jacob for giving it back again but she was happy to see it. 

"Stay here. I'll be back soon."

"No, I'm coming with you," he said, putting a stop to the arguing.

"Stace, I'll be okay. It's just a quick trip to the Henbane and I'll be back. No one's going to hurt me now that I've joined the Project."

"Except for the Resistance..."

She sighed and thought about that for a minute and what that might look like if she ran into any of them. It wasn't a mistake she had picked Sharky to visit first, knowing he may be the more understanding of the bunch. The others wouldn't be as forgiving.

"Sharky doesn't know you and I just... I need to do this alone. If anyone asks, just let them know I'll be back by tomorrow at the latest. Play dumb. Just, anything..." she pleaded. 

Staci let out an exasperated hum and nodded, knowing she was too stubborn for him to win. 

\---

Hannah heard the music pumping from the speakers long before she made her way down the dirt road to the trailer park but it stopped before she arrived. 

She watched just out of his field of vision as Sharky jumped down from the roof and silently pumped his fist in the air to himself, kicking one of the dead angels at his feet. 

Some things just never change. 

He scanned the area with an enormous grin until his eyes finally found her. She kept her head lowered slightly but let her eyes meet his. 

"Chica?" he called out, wide eyed. "Hot damn girl, I thought I'd never see you again!"

He hurried over, stripping himself from his flamethrower and pulling her into a bear hug. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, feeling like she may cry again in relief at his reaction but kept it together. When he tried to pull back, she kept herself wound around him and stopped his attempt. 

"Wait.. you're not here to kill me, are ya?" he asked when he finally wiggled out of her arms. 

"I could have snuck up on you while you were blaring that God awful music if I was here to kill you."

"Hey! Whoa, Whoa... say what you want about me but leave the music out of it. It's legendary."

They both looked at each other for a second before they burst out laughing. It was a strange sound to her ears and one that she was honestly unsure if she was capable anymore. 

"I uh... I wasn't sure you'd want to see me after... Well..."

"After you joined a brainwashing cult?"

"Well, yeah. There's that..."

"Man, I know you have good intentions. Hurk and I got your back no matter what. Course, we won't be going easy on those fuckers you're shackled up with but you're safe," he assured her, looking her in the eyes as he did. They were as warm as ever, though Hannah knew she didn't deserve it.

"The others will be pissed," she said, chewing her lip. "I need to explain why I did it Shark. Can we go inside?" 

"Lead the way, my lady."

\---

"Just one more. For old time's sake. Who knows when I'll see you again," Sharky protested as he shoved a glass of whiskey back at Hannah. She had had far too much as it was but he wouldn't give it up. Finally she sighed and took the glass, bringing it to her lips with a cringe. 

"This tastes like shit."

"Damn right!" Sharky laughed. He had just kicked off his boots and was stretching his legs out on the couch towards her, nudging her with his toe as a signal that she wasn't drinking fast enough. "Now tell me, what's that ginger giant think of all this? Bet he's smug as hell."

"I don't think he cares one way or another but Joseph does, so of course he jumps," she explained as she leaned back into the hard lumps of the vintage couch and took another swig of the clear liquid. 

"Seems to me he could stop all this if he had the balls to."

"Seems you're right. But he won't," she paused before she continued, unsure if she should open up. The courage from the liquor made her mind up before she had chance to second guess it. "Jacob's not all bad. He's been good to Staci and I and made sure John didn't carve me up more than he had to. I just feel like he has this sick loyalty to his brothers. I mean... it makes sense - they picked him up when he had nothing and no one. I just keep telling myself that."

"Maybe you can get through to him. Just put out that womanly charm and mysterious female voodoo... Whatever you chicks do," Sharky suggested, topping up his glass again. 

Hannah watched as he tilted his head back so quick to down the shot that his hat tumbled off his head. He glanced over both shoulders more than once trying to find it but was too drunk at that point to realize it was behind him. 

Hannah laughed loudly and grabbed the old thing, throwing it to the other side of the room. She grinned when he gave her a look of mock disgust and grabbed for the bottle. 

"Maybe I'll have to put out..." she said quickly, putting out her feelers for his reaction. 

"Do it for the good of the c-county," he slurred, thrusting his glass towards hers with a clink. 

"The good of the county," she repeated, thinking of Jacob and just how easy it would be.


	22. Chapter 22

Jacob hadn't seen Hannah for over a day and he was starting to grow antsy. She was free to do what she liked of course but he knew if anything happened to her, Joseph would lose his mind. 

He groaned as he paced his office, debating whether he should send one of his Chosen to track her. 

"Jacob?" Staci knocked on the frame of the open doorway, watching as the red head moved slowly back and forth, staring off to the far wall. 

"What is it?" 

"I'm thinking of leaving the grounds for a bit, take a drive maybe," he explained. Jacob stared at him expectedly, waiting for more detail. Pratt knew he could leave whenever he wanted, so why he had chosen to tell Jacob was beyond him. "Han.. the dep.. well, Hannah left for the Henbane and it's been too long. I just want to swing by and make sure she's okay."

"The Henbane?" Jacob asked, surprised she would wander that far with what was sure to be a giant target on her back. She hadn't had the opportunity to confront her allies and there were surely some bad feelings stirring between them. He huffed when he thought about that, knowing it was a mistake to not pay closer attention to her movements. "Where is she?" 

Staci turned his attention to the floor, under the piercing gaze of the veteran standing before him. Things had been different lately - Jacob had been softer - but Staci still couldn't forget the conditioning... Not yet. 

"She's with a friend. I'll just swing by and..."

"Where?" Jacob repeated. 

"Fuck, she's with Sharky Boshaw... at the trailer park. But I don't think..."

"Stay here. I'll bring her home," Jacob told him, grabbing his jacket off the table. 

He was already brushing past Staci and out the door before the deputy had a chance to regret his decision in telling him. The spark that flickered behind Jacob's eyes when he knew she had crossed his borders was more than an indication that he was unhappy. Staci prayed her her sake that he would calm down before he made his way to her. 

\---

"Feeling better?" Sharky asked when Hannah emerged from the bathroom, hair still wet from the shower. 

She was far too drunk the night before to drive home and the next morning, she was too busy with her head in the toilet to care about getting back. But after some sleep, a half pound of bacon (Sharky's "miracle cure" for hangovers) and a cold shower, she was pretty much back to normal. 

"Yes, thanks for the extra clothes," she said, fanning out the material of the baggy sweatpants he had leant her. 

"No problemo, my friend. Don't mind the stain on that t-shirt either. Hurk thought it would be fun to wear it around his head like a ninja mask but forgot to take it off before he tried guzzling down a beer."

"Hmm," Hannah hummed, glancing down at the faint brown outline at the hem of the shirt. She looked like a complete bum but the clothes were comfortable and she found herself feeling happy in them. "You boys are pretty amazing."

"Awww, Dep. You know you're our favorite. And you know where to..." Sharky's words were cut short by the sound of a car door closing outside. He glanced quickly to Hannah and then darted to the side of the couch to retrieve his flamethrower. "Looks like we have company."

"Maybe don't lead with the fire, hmm?" she suggested, pulling out her pistol. They nodded to each other before he finally pulled back the curtain on the window and made room for her to peek out along side him. When she saw the driver start to walk towards the trailers, glancing around, she breathed a sigh of relief. 

"What the fuck?" Sharky said a bit too loud. He watched her open the front door and step out onto the deck before he decided to follow behind her. Raising his flamethrower to rest on his shoulder, he kept his eyes on Jacob as he finally caught sight of them and closed in. 

"You lost?" Hannah called out. 

"Your buddy's worried about you," Jacob explained when he finally made it to patch of dirt on the other side of the railing. He kept his eyes on hers, not acknowledging Sharky's presence. 

"I told him I'd be home today."

Jacob glanced up at the sky and the sun that was now nestling behind the trees, as a signal that it was growing later than she had known. She groaned internally, knowing Staci would have been wondering where she was. 

"I'll just grab my stuff," she said, glancing over at Sharky who was doing his best to hold an intimidating stance. "I was going to head out anyway. Thanks for the hospitality Sharks."

"Anytime Dep. You know I'm not leaving this paradise of mine anytime soon."

Hannah nodded and patted him on the hand as she rushed into the house, aware of the awkwardness of the situation. She hadn't introduced them but didn't see why she needed to. Sharky knew who the Seeds were and Jacob made it his business to know what everyone was up to in the county; Sharky would have most definitely been on his radar. 

Inside, she grabbed her dirty clothes and tossed her hoodie on. Scanning the room and content she hadn't left anything behind, she rushed for the door but stopped at the sight outside. Jacob stood with his arms crossed, face tilted to Sharky who was now standing closer to the railing. Sharky's mouth was moving but she couldn't make it out. Leaning closer to the door, she listened in as he warned Jacob of what might happen to him if he were to mistreat her. 

"She's like a little sis, you know? A little sis with the same age, but she's still... well, you get it. She told me you've been good to her and that's the only reason I haven't started a bonfire but that could change, man."

Jacob smirked the slightest bit, amused at the rambling but touched that he would choose to defend his friend, even though they both knew Jacob could have him killed before he knew what hit him. He nodded his chin up to Sharky. "Same. Make sure your friends don't touch her or they'll be dealt with."

"Agreed, my man."

Hannah forced the smile from her face as she opened the door, pretending she was rushing to grab her things. 

"There," she said, letting out a heavy breath. "I'm good. Sharky, radio me if you need anything. I'll visit.. promise."

She gave him a tight hug the best she could against the steel of his weapon and headed down the stairs to reach Jacob who was waiting for her. He turned towards the truck without a second glance to Sharky and hopped in as she called back to the trailer after realizing the quad she drove there was still sitting in the place she had parked it. "Free quad Shark! Keys are in the ignition."

"Christmas day! Hell yeah," he grinned, waving as she and Jacob pulled out of the trailer park. 

Hannah couldn't help but smile. Sharky's presence had rejuvenated her and the weight she had been feeling lately was easing. She turned to Jacob who was still quietly sitting in the driver's seat. It amazed her that he had been somewhat friendly, especially with Sharky whom she knew would get under his skin for sure. 

If Sharky and Staci were okay with him, maybe her other friends would come around too. 

"You're staring," Jacob stated, interrupting her thoughts. 

"Mmm hmm."

Jacob waited a second but finally glanced over to her smiling face. It was the first time he had seen her so joyful and it made him smile back, as much as he tried to fight it. "Why?"

"Cause I'm glad you didn't kill my friend. Maybe we could all have dinner sometime," she teased. 

"You're pushing it."

"Board game night?"

Jacob groaned, chosing not to answer. 

"Charades more your style?" she asked, enjoying the annoyance on his face. 

"Were you going to come back?" he asked, genuinely wanting to know the answer. Since their kiss, she had taken off without letting him now and Jacob suspected he may have scared her off. The feeling had weighed on him more than he wanted to admit.

"Of course."

Jacob nodded but kept his eyes on the road, staying silent for the remainder of the drive home.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I know the light grows darker down below,_  
but in your eyes, it's gone before you know. 
> 
> _ _This is the moment of just letting go. ____  


"Pratt's in the yard," Jacob told Hannah when they pulled up to St. Francis. It was the first thing he had said since they left the Henbane. 

Hannah was always comfortable with a quiet silence but the one the one that hung between them weighed heavy with unspoken words and it made her uncomfortable. She knew, as much as she was dreading it, that she needed to clear the air. The past few days had given her time to think of their moment together and how she had rejected him. 

At the time, it was the only option for her but she saw now that she had made the choice she thought her friends would want her to. But at some point in her whiskey fuelled fog, she had admitted her feelings for Jacob to Sharky - to which he said he already knew because she "wouldn't shut up about him". He had trusted her to make the right decision, even if that meant falling for his enemy. She was her own person. Being the deputy and the ex-leader of the Resistance was not her identity anymore. 

"I'll see him later," she said, pausing to chew her lip. She Inhaled deeply, pulling the courage from deep within. "Can we talk for a bit maybe?"

"About?" Jacob asked casually. He was now turned in his seat to face her, watching her with the same intensity he always seemed to. 

"Well..." she paused again. Never in her life had she been more nervous. She wasn't a naturally confident person but had always been able to fake it easily enough.. but not now. "About us."

Jacob's eyes widened slightly as the worked "us" tumbled from her lips. The thoughts of what that might mean brought a stirring to his core. He had never needed anyone before. Had never really wanted anyone before. But his attraction to her was his weakness now. It was one he had identified and chosen to live with when the struggle he had against it had just grown too strong. 

"Upstairs then."

With that, he hopped out of the truck and made his way to the front of the building. Hannah scurried from the truck and followed behind, making sure her chin was lifted and shoulders back as she passed the guards. 

Jacob didn't turn to make sure she was behind him as he made his way upstairs, still mulling over what he would say when they were alone. 

As they passed the open door to his office, Hannah's eyes darted to the door and then back to Jacob, unsure where he was taking her. When he stopped in front of the door to the left, she realized he was taking her to his bedroom. 

"Relax, darlin'. They know not to bother me in here, is all," he explained when he noticed the fear in her eyes. 

"I was gonna say... you better buy me dinner or a drink first at least," she joked awkwardly. 

Jacob raised an eyebrow at her but didn't laugh. He opened the door instead and let her inside first before he closed the door behind them. Inside, her eyes swept the room quickly taking in the sparce furnishings of the room. In one corner, he had a metal framed double bed pushed to the wall that was meticulously made and a small dresser was pushed to the other side. There were no personal items or clothes and she wondered if he even used this room. 

"I can bring a chair in," he offered. 

"No, no. I can stand. Or, actually... do you mind?" she asked as she waved a finger towards the bed. He shook his head and allowed her to sit but remained fixed to the spot he was standing. Hannah took a deep breath before she continued. "I don't even know what to say or how to say it but I feel like _something_ needs to be said." 

"Mmm," he agreed. 

"The other night when I ran off... it surprised me. Like, fully. But not in a bad way... just a very confusing way I guess. I didn't want you to stop but I couldn't see how this would ever work out," she said to the floor before she finally lifted her chin to him. "I was thinking of what people would say. I always do... And it should never matter because as long as I've lived, I've sacrificed my happiness for others and their opinions."

Jacob listened to her ramble, watching her eyes dart around the room. He knew she was feeling the same jumble of feelings he was but unlike him, she didn't seem to have the ability to calm her tone. 

"... And Staci and Sharky are safe. And they don't hate me. How is that even possible?" she continued. 

"Dunno. Guess they're not so bad," he admitted. 

"They're pretty fucking great. But Jess... Fuck. The Ryes. I'm supposed to be...." Hannah stopped and looked to Jacob for his reaction. She had been anxiously rambling but he had chosen to let her go, even though she wished he wouldn't. "Can you just.. can you sit?"

"If you're looking for my opinion - seems to me you care too much for people who wouldn't do the same," he said simply, letting out a heavy breath as he eased himself next to to her on the bed. "Look what they've done to you. This isn't the deputy that was givin' my baby brother a run for his money. Or the one who stood strong even when I did my best to break her."

Hannah hung her head, knowing he was right. Everyday had grown to be more a struggle for her - the violence and bloodshed still haunted her sleep. But this.. her; in the moment, was not because of that. 

"I'm a mess because of you, Jacob," she said softly, still keeping her eyes away from his. "And the way I feel about you."

At that, he was taken back to the night on the balcony when he couldn't control himself. The yearning in him to be understood by her, to be cared for by her; it rubbed him raw. Of all the feelings he had known in his life, this was the one he couldn't escape. 

Leaning closer to her, he grabbed at her opposite cheek and turned her to him. When she kept her eyes lowered, his other hand cupped her face until she slowly let her eyes meet his. Shame and embarrassment danced behind them, stinging Jacob's ego. 

"None of this needs to make sense. It never will. It's wrong and we both know that. Nothing will ever change it," he breathed. "Just do what you want for the first time in your life."

Hannah nodded against his palms, knowing he was right. 

"What is it you want, Hannah?" 

Swallowing hard, she searched his eyes, praying he would see the answer before she had to spill it to the universe. When he didn't speak, she closed her eyes and whispered, "You. I want you, Jake."

Jacob darted forward, catching her off guard once again, and kissed her full on the mouth. His tongue was darting between her lips before she could speak but as his words echoed through her mind, she found the strength to meet his tongue with her own. The contact sent a spike of longing through her to her very core and before she could stop, she was moaning against him. Her hands came up over his and pulled them from her cheeks, bringing them down to her hips and she swung her legs over his lap and straddled him. 

Every nagging word that threatened to surface - telling her to retreat - was pushed down deeper than the place it had come. She knew this was the moment for just letting go. 

Finally, letting go. 

He was broken, yes; but she would be the one to fix him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lyrics in the notes above are from the song "Life Eternal" by Ghost. It's hauntingly beautiful and has inspired this whole damn Hannah/Jacob story for me. Have a listen if you get the chance! 😊


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's smut. Just... Smut. Enjoy!

"Shit," Hannah hissed as she struggled with Jacob's jacket, pulling at the sleeves before he was given the chance to move them down his arms. She felt a chuckle vibrate against the skin on her neck as she did. She was impatient, Jacob noticed but he couldn't say much - he; who had palmed himself nightly while he thought of her and the things he would do to her if he was ever given the chance. 

Finally, she was able to peel his jacket off and run her hands up and under his t-shirt, feeling the muscles under his scarred skin. A spasm of pain crept through her heart as she traced every one delicately. He had given up for much for his country and was tossed aside so carelessly in return. 

"S'okay," he assured her when her frantic movements slowed. He didn't want anyone's pity, least of all hers. He would be the strength she sorely needed and her protector - he had already decided that; he couldn't allow her to see him as anything but. Hannah's hands pulled at the fabric of his shirt gently and lifted it over his head, messing his hair in the process. She caught his eyes for a moment but returned her gaze to the burns on his chest. A heavy jagged scar ran down his shoulder to his chest; a trophy of one of the many sacrifices he had made in his life. "It's okay darlin'."

"You're just..." she paused, trying to find the right word. Her hands continued to roam his body, letting her fingers graze against his nipples and then down his torso. Finally she raised her chin to meet his worried stare. "... perfect."

Jacob laughed sharply, not sure which was more absurd - the word she chose to describe him or the sincerity behind it. Not wanting to lose the moment they had been building to, he shifted her off of his lap without a word, flipping her to the mattress as he followed behind and laid between her thighs. 

"You've got far too much on," he grunted against the column of her throat, pulling at the shirt that was sandwiched between them. 

Quickly, he had it ripped from her body and was working on her bra before she was able to lift her body to make it easier for him. With a quick snap, he had it undone and was tossing it aside. He came down quickly on her breasts and worshipped them with his mouth, nipping at the skin lightly with his teeth when her moans quieted. The whine that poured from her lips was music. Not wanting it to end, he sucked roughly at them, reveling at the goosebumps that sprouted to her skin. 

Hips pushing from the mattress, Hannah wriggled beneath him as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Her patience was so dangerously low and with every kiss and suck from his mouth, she could feel the agitation grow inside of her. She knew she should savour the moment but she needed him so desperately that none of that mattered. 

Frustrated, she pushed up at his broad chest, taking in the look of confusion on his face. "Off."

"Han.."

She pushed again and this time, he complied and rolled to the bed at her side, staring at her in disbelief. He had come so close _again_.

There was no time for explanation or assurance from her, she decided. She would allow her body to speak for her instead. Hannah removed her pants quickly, tossing them to the floor along with her boots and turned her attention back to the soldier at her side who was still watching her with curiosity in his brilliant blue eyes. When she finally undid his jeans and pulled them along with his boxers down just enough to free his cock, his expression changed to one of recognition and relief. 

"I need you. Now," she explained as she climbed over him and shimmied herself down onto his lap. With one hand, she moved her panties aside and grabbed at him roughly, aligning him with her entrance. As she slid down the length, she inhaled sharply at just how thick he was. It stretched her uncomfortably but she wouldn't allow herself to stop. Not when she had waited so long for this.

Jacob had never given the reigns to anyone in his life but allowed her to pace their movements as her hips rocked against his, bringing a heat to his core. With every inch she took, he fought back the urge to cum and moved his hands to her soft hips, helping to lift her from his shaft in hopes of slowing her movements. When she refused, even with his hands on her, he gave in and pushed his head back to the pillow - groaning loudly. 

"You need to slow down sweetheart," he warned her, knowing things would be over far too quickly if she didn't. 

"I have faith in you, Red," she said in a whisper as she grabbed at his hands and threw them to the pillow above his head. Her fingernails dug into his wrists as she pinned them roughly.

The look of defiance splayed across her face was too much - it was one that he hadn't seen as of late but one that he had set to memory. Now, that look was flashed effortlessly to him. Jacob closed his eyes; trying to control his body but when her mouth ravished his and she instructed him to open his eyes and look at her, it all became too much. 

His body bucked beneath hers and his hands darted from the spot they had been caged, grabbing at her waist as he held her still against his shuddering body. His moans echoed off the walls in the empty room, bringing a smile to Hannah's face. She watched his features soften as he spilled inside of her, holding her as close as he could as he murmured apologies against her breasts. 

"This is all I've wanted since I saw you at church, that first night. How fucked is that?" she chuckled, bringing a palm over his hair as he slowed his breathing and loosened his grip on her. 

"Me too," he admitted, not only to her but to himself for the first time. "Now c'mere while I finish you up."

He grabbed at her again and effortlessly pulled her up his body until she was hovering over his face. Hannah fought against him, uneasy with being on display in such an intimate way. 

"You're fucking beautiful," Jacob assured her, raising from the pillow until his lips brushed against her. He took in the sweet smell she emitted and ran his tongue along her folds until she finally relaxed against his touch and lowered down to meet his lips. 

He kissed her softly, listening to every sigh she released with pride. When her sighs turned to deep moans, he allowed his lingering tongue to reach its destination and flicked to her clit quickly. 

"Oh God," she groaned, swaying her hips against his mouth. She felt him hum a chuckle against her but continued his lapping as she felt her orgasm build up quicker than she had ever felt it before. 

"Cum for me," he ordered, grabbing her hips and steadying her as he quickened his pace. 

Hannah's body tensed at his voice, feeling every muscle tighten before she finally found the release she had been chasing. She came hard against him, feeling his beard scratch against her as she braced herself on the wall behind them. 

Jacob pulled her closer still, forcing her to scramble against him as the sensation grew too much to bare. When he scolded him and slapped at his hands, he finally released her and let her sink to the bed next to him, breathing heavily. 

Neither spoke as he pulled her under his arm and rubbed at the back of her neck as she laid a cheek over the scar on his chest, laughing to herself when she realized the Herald of the north was a cuddler.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter... Finally. I felt so out of my norm with this one. Thanks to everyone who read along and for your kindness. 
> 
> And a special thank you to fluttyseed, blumoongoddess216 and darkphoenix-24 for letting me bounce ideas off of you and for making sure I didn't delete this damn thing. Love you all!

She had fallen asleep at some point in the night; relaxed by the way Jacob's callused hands had touched her hair while he held her. The hours went by and with his arm now asleep under her, he was hoping she would roll over but didn't have the heart to move her on his own. He reveled in the feeling of her skin on his and wondered just how long this would last. If this was the only moment she would give him, he would cherish it but part of him hoped it wouldn't be. 

"Uhhhhnnn," she moaned in her sleep, against the puddle of drool she had left on his chest. He smiled until her body jerked violently. Once, then twice... Each time more frantic. 

Trying to see her through the darkness, he leaned up slightly and brushed her hair away with his other hand. His heart sank when he noticed her face, contorted with pain. 

"Hannah," he whispered, not wanting to startle her. When she didn't respond, he let a low "shhh" out into the air around them. 

Moving his arm from under her the best he could, Jacob finally freed it only to watch her spring from the spot he let her lie and scramble to the headboard above her. 

"No, no, no, no, no, no..." she chanted as she pushed herself back as far as she could, retreating from Jacob who was now reaching a hand to her. The flashes of charred and bloody bodies still danced behind her eyes everytime she blinked, reliving the dream again.

"S'alright, sweetheart. You're dreaming," he assured her, letting his hand hover in front of her. He knew all too well what state she must be in and wasn't sure how she would react. 

"Jacob," she sighed in relief when she noticed her surroundings. "I... I'm sorry..."

"Shhh."

Jacob sat up and held his arm out, waiting for her to come to him if she chose to. She watched him fearfully for a moment and then nestled under his arm, holding him tightly. "I can't forget."

"You did what was required," he said, trying to calm her. 

"No. No... I shouldn't have..."

Jacob sighed to himself, knowing anything he would say would be heard by deaf ears. He knew what it felt like to live, consumed with guilt and shame at his actions. When he was admitted to the veteran's center in Rome, they had told him it wasn't his fault - that he was a soldier and a weapon and that he had done what was needed of him. It was for the greater good, even if it didn't feel that way. He had a purpose and it was to protect his country. 

Hers was to protect her friends. She had done what was asked of her but it had left her hollow, same as it had him. 

This woman who came into his life at the most inopportune time. Who showed no fear or disgust when she looked at him. Who understood him somehow and knee his thoughts, even when his family had decided he was whole again. 

They were alike. 

Her kindness and empathy and his strength and patience would be enough to fill in the void of each other. As he held her and felt her body tremble against his, he knew that would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on Tumblr too! My username's ja-crispea.


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